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Walmart Trying To Sell Me Laxatives Instead of a PlayStation 5: A Review

I still can’t get my hands on a PS5. But Miralax? That’s another story.

Today, like many days in a typical week, I tried to buy a PlayStation 5 console. One of my friendly colleagues posted a Wario64 tweet with a handy link to Walmart’s website, where the retailer was reportedly selling a bunch of PS5s at 3 p.m. my time. This was right in the middle of an important meeting, but if any of the (many) days I’ve done this dance were any indication… We’d probably have another misfire anyway.

So I tried it.

There was no PlayStation 5 for me today. I only even want one to play the preferred version of Deathloop, since 1) Immersive sims are my jam, and 2) It’s GOTY season. I’d very much like to play the best version of said game for GOTY consideration. I keep not playing the PC version for this very reason. 

Instead of a PS5, however, Walmart wanted to offer me an alternative: MiraLAX, a laxative that advertises “gentle relief,” and “helps occasional constipation.”

Perhaps, the algorithm was showing a sly sense of humor — offering to help me with some pent-up rage at, yet again, coming up short in the hunt for a PS5. Perhaps it was looking to insult me, in a “Fill up your gamer diaper, nerd!” kind of way. Perhaps it really, truly thinks I need some gentle relief. I’ve yet to buy a single item from Walmart.com, though. I only signed up for the damned account for days like today — days when I click yet another link hoping to buy a best-way-to-play-Deathloop-machine, so I guess they just don’t have data much to go on.