It’s been a year and a half since Dragalia Lost clawed its way into our hearts. With yet-to-be-announced events in store for later this month, now’s the perfect time to pick up (or return to) the adorable mobile title. Combining Nintendo’s love of quirky RPGs with Cygames’ mobile expertise, the tap-based action combat will keep you entertained for hours on end. Yet the heart of Dragalia lies firmly — and literally — in its chest.
In Dragalia Lost, players use in-game currency to “summon” new adventurers and dragons to use in battle. A premium currency is also accepted for these summon rituals. Characters have different levels of rarity, with high-stat “5-star” units being the hardest to obtain. Dragons, crafted weapons, and passive skills all contribute to a character’s “might,” similar to an item level in an MMO. Players then create a team of four adventurers — or pair with three other players, to tackle quests. Boss battles and other side content reward players with crafting materials and more in-game currency.
As you gain new characters, though, two things are brought to your immediate attention: the pair of tits on every woman adventurer. It is, in other words, a typical gacha game. Albeit one with tons of boobs that bear a blessing from the nominally family friendly Nintendo.
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Out of the 92 summonable girls listed on GamePress’ Draglia Lost wiki, approximately 41 of those have noticeably serious honkers compared to more “average” members of the roster. That’s… what? A solid fourth of every adventurer in the game? Surely the odds of collecting such a character are good!
Well, maybe not. After running the math, I can say with absolute certainty that, out of four demographics, you’re the least likely to call forth the well-endowed gals. You see, saying “41 of 92 girls” assumes that you have a fair shot of pulling any one of them. Not so! However, we must consider that this is a gacha game with varying rarities and pull rates. This is where things begin to turn subtly sinister.
For 5-star units, decked out in their intricate art and meta-defining skills, that pull rate is usually around four percent. 4-star units appear more often with 16 percent, and at a whopping 80 percent, 3-star adventurers are more common than Pidgey on Route 1. It may come as no surprise, then, that most of the big tiddy girls (goth or otherwise) are 5-star characters.
By my count (based on my subjective definition of “large knockers”), more than half of the bustiest women are 5-star units. And on any regular summon, you have a 1.43 percent chance of drawing one of these lovely lasses, taking the above pull rates into account. By that same mathematical method, if you’re shooting for a rare adventurer, you’ll see a girl with jumbo yum-yums before you see a small-chested girl (1.19 percent); a guy in an action pose (0.96 percent); or a man in a more normal pose (0.42 percent).
Yes. This implies a boob-based power dynamic that isn’t simply illogical; it’s unethical. It is immoral and wrong that the top one percent (and change) of Dragalia Lost women own almost as much breast mass as the bottom 90 percent. Titties have no inherent magical powers in the lore of the game (which of course actually come from the flow of mana regulated by immortal dragons). And to distribute the characters thusly, Nintendo implies only the wealthiest among us should have access to big boobies if we want them.
Love for the Boys
There’s a less than 25 percent to see smaller-chested (by the game’s standards) girls by comparison. The popular 3-star Xania, the literal child in the bracket, Lathna, and the intimidating Kirsty all fall into this category. These come in a variety of poses — some still overtly sexual.
Men in relaxed, casual poses are drawn 26.66 percent of the time, featuring the grim mage Heinwald or the gorgeous Zardin. At least if muscular, dynamic poses are more your style, you’re in luck: at 33.09 percent, burly men in power stances appropriately tower over the bishounens. You’ll probably stack up a lot of pals like the seafaring Thaniel, the Assassin’s Creed-esque Naveed, or the shirtless summertime Ranzal.
That gives us the total chance of getting a big-breasted, specifically female adventurer: 16.62 percent. If you remember our initial pull rates from earlier, this means you can expect to get a chesty woman about as often as you get a 4-star unit. That’s not bad, but still Dragalia flaunts the tit.
If we apply motive to the math, you might surmise Nintendo at least appreciates all breasts equally — including those of men. However, there’s something to be said about who’s allowed to strut their stuff and when.
The Top Shelf
Seeing as most of the endowed adventurers are 5-star, one might say Dragalia Lost uses a very narrow version of sexualized characters to sway players to buy premium currency. To which I say “Duh.” The game leans heavily on a bog-standard heterosexual male fantasy — despite the number of queer characters in Dragalia Lost, and occasional male-male fan service.
This hypothesis reaches its climax around “Gala” events, one of which should be held later this month. This is when certain characters receive alternate versions added to the summon pool for a limited time, with different stats, skills, and outfits. Men are usually dressed to the nines in suits, donning their weapon in heroic fashion, but covering up their fine funbags. For girls, Gala alternates usually entail a frilly dress and a pose that pops their girls into the spotlight. Gala versions also usually have better skills than any other unit in the game — further stratifying the top heavy into positions of power.
Still… No matter which gender Dragalia sets its sight on, a boob’s a boob. Tits good, man. While you’ll probably get a 4-star cutie as often as you’ll get a embreasted one, you can also rest easy knowing a there’s at least a 36 percent chance of your 5-star team will have lower back issues. Pick up Dragalia Lost from your nearest app provider, clear those quests, and save your currencies until Gala Dragalia, folks. There’s a good chance that more magnificent mammaries are on the horizon.