WWE Monday Night Raw: A Review

The concept. The entire concept of WWE Monday Night Raw.

WWE Monday Night Raw has been on the air since January 11, 1993, or 28 years of weekly wrestling television. Often hailed (by its creator) as breathing new life into how wrestling was presented, Raw has, instead, been mostly terrible for the duration of its long-running, weekly onslaught against people who like wrestling, old people who inexplicably prop up WWE’s ratings, and people who are either addicted to WWE or the USA Network, where characters are welcome except for between the hours of 8pm-11-pm EST every Monday night.

Has it had moments? Years, even? Of course, but what is one 1997 against one ThunderDome era? There are probably years of your existence where you didn’t watch wrestling that can be traced back to some terrible moment on Raw. Mine happened¬†at a Raw in Detroit, where the helpfully ran the Kane/Katie Vick/Triple H necrophilia angle back so I’d have context for a casket match. If it meant not going through that, I’d punch the erase button on 28 years of wrestling history¬†easy.

Is it an important show? Sure, but plenty of important things in wrestling history are awful. It’s just that most of them have nowhere near as much rope as WWE has been afforded for the majority of my life to waste the time of its fans and talent. But John Cena wrestled Keven Federline on it once, so it’s not all bad.

WWE Monday Night Raw

6.2

I'm just going to take WWE's word on this one and say that Monday Night Raw is the longest-running weekly episodic television show in history, all of which begs the question "why has it sucked so bad for so long?"

Pros
  • The TitanTron. The TitanTron whips.
  • Remember when the entranceway had big letters R A and W out there? And then Sabu jumped off one of them? That whipped.
  • The sheer number of people and objects thrown off bridges is pretty great.
  • Bret Hart, babyyyyyy.
  • One of Raw's theme songs is about doing heroin, which is not great, but is very funny.
  • John Cena vs. K-Fed.
Cons
  • It's like the wrestling equivalent of Halloween candy in that sometimes you bite into a delicious treat and sometimes you bite into an apple with a razor blade in it.
  • No, really, it's been on for 28 years and has sucked most of the time? How is that even possible?
  • If I see one more mf get soaked by beer or milk or champagne I am going to lose my cool.
  • Ratings.
  • One of Raw's theme songs is by Nickelback.
  • Skillet had a theme song last year. LAST YEAR. Skillet! SKILLET!!!
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Colette Arrand

Colette Arrand is a minor transsexual poet and nu-metal enthusiast.

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