Clash of Champions is tonight! All the titles are on the line! Is Clash of Champions just the filler show between Summerslam and Hell in a Cell eclipsed in hype by the start of Wednesday Night Wars in two weeks? Well, yeah, I guess, if you want to look at it that way. You could also look at as a show that has stuff like Sasha Banks vs Becky Lynch and Cedric Alexander’s first main roster title shot. Lighten up, jeez. Plus, WWE has had a pretty good track record since WrestleMania with their D-tier PPVs.
Intercontinental Championship: Shinsuke Nakamura (c) vs The Miz
Shinsuke Nakamura captured the WWE Intercontinental Championship back at Extreme Rules. Nakamura is more or less the iconic IWGP Intercontinental Champion, so having him defend against The Miz is kind of a neat idea. The Miz might not be as iconic an IC champ as Nakamura, but his runs with the title over the last few years did a lot for both the belt and his character. Nakamura (and his new translator Sami Zayn) have been antagonizing the Miz for weeks now, which led to this title match, and here we are.
What can we expect from their first singles meeting? Hopefully Sami Zayn on commentary. This is another one I don’t really anticipate being anything very special, but hey, I love to be proven wrong.
Prediction: Shinsuke Nakamura retains.
Women’s Tag Team Championship: Nikki Cross & Alexa Bliss (c) vs Mandy Rose & Sonya Deville
The Women’s Tag Team Championship still hasn’t really found its footing, but Nikki Cross and Alexa Bliss are solid, consistent performers who are cute together, which goes a long way. The main story here is I guess that Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville have been bullying Nikki Cross for not being as hot as them, which is, I guess, better than no story. It’s a bummer, because I love Team Fire and Desire. (And their donut review show on YouTube.) I don’t predict this being anything spectacular, but it could be fun. I mean, remember when Sonya Deville carried Mandy Rose up that ladder for gay rights? I sure do.
Prediction: I want to believe that Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville will win this.
Cruiserweight Championship Triple Threat: Lince Dorado vs Drew Gulak (c) vs Humberto Carrillo
Short Kings! Short Kings! Short Kings! Drew Gulak is defending the Cruiserweight Championship against luchadores Lince Dorado and Humberto Carrillo. With his beautiful moveset and adorable smile, Carrillo has been a real stand-out on 205 Live since joining the division in January. Lince Dorado, on the other hand, has been a member of the division since day one, and in spite of his considerable talent, hasn’t been featured very heavily. After Carrillo beat Oney Lorcan for this Clash of Champions match, Dorado challenged him to make it a triple threat. He won, and here we are.
Prediction: Drew Gulak retains.
Raw Tag Team Championship: Braun Strowman & Seth Rollins (c) vs Dolph Ziggler & Robert Roode
So, when I said there was plenty to be excited about on the Clash of Champions card, I should have also mentioned that there’s plenty to really not be excited about. Raw Tag Champs Seth Rollins and Braun Strowman will be wrestling each other for the Universal Championship later in the night. This is basically just more of that story. (Gallows and Anderson are also around somewhere, and they’re pissed they’re not in this match.)
Hey, a quick note: I miss team names. If you’re a team, you need to have a team name, even if it sucks. Dolph Ziggler and Robert Roode could be Team D.A.B. (Dolph And Bob), and then they could dab. Imagine Robert Roode dabbing. It would be awful and I think they should do it.
Prediction: Team D.A.B. wins.
United States Championship: AJ Styles (c) vs Cedric Alexander
See, this is why D-tier PPVs are good. Cedric Alexander has been getting a solid, steady build since he did that masked janitor thing back in July. Now he’s challenging AJ Styles for the US Championship in his hometown! Cedric Alexander has all the charm, warmth and in-ring prowess to be the perfect underdog to cheer for against AJ Styles, who’s no slouch either. I’m really looking forward to this.
Prediction: AJ Styles is probably retaining here.
Smackdown Tag Team Championship: The New Day (c) vs The Revival
This is tied into the Kofi Kingston/Randy Orton match for the WWE Championship, since the Revival have been serving as backup for Orton over the last month or so. But this story seems to be more of an ideological one than a personal one. Xavier Woods and Big E of the New Day love fun, whereas Scott Dawson and Dash Wilder hate fun. The Revival have (correctly) pointed out that WWE’s tag team division is in shambles, and (incorrectly) blamed the New Day for it. So, is the problem with WWE’s tag scene that it’s just too darn fun? I guess we will find out.
Prediction: I kind of want to say that the Revival wins this? Am I crazy? I mean, it’s in North Carolina. That’s where they live. It seems logical.
Smackdown Women’s Championship: Bayley (c) vs Charlotte Flair
Bayley claims that she wailed on Becky Lynch with a chair two weeks ago out of loyalty to her best friend Sasha Banks and her other best friend, the Smackdown Women’s Championship. Charlotte Flair is also concerned for the Smackdown Title’s well-being, insisting that Bayley’s reign has made it irrelevant. Flair pinned Bayley to win a tag match on the most recent Raw, so she’s going in with an edge, still though…
Prediction: Bayley retains. I have no reasoning here, I just feel it in my third eye.
No DQ: Roman Reigns vs Rowan
Rowan attacked Roman Reigns a bunch of times as an agent of Mercury Retrograde, not of Daniel Bryan. He wants all of us to know that he’s his own person with his own mind and his own agency. He may be big, but he’s not stupid, that’s why he attacked Roman Reigns. So now they’re doing a no disqualification match about it. Daniel Bryan, betrayed by his friend’s dishonesty, has been throwing tantrums and demanding apologies. Personally, I would love to see this match be a group therapy session played perfectly straight, with zero jokes, where they sort out these issues. Maybe they’re saving that for TV.
Prediction: Rowan wins in spite of Daniel Bryan’s interference.
WWE Championship: Kofi Kingston (c) vs Randy Orton
Kofi Kingston and Randy Orton had a weird match at SummerSlam that ended in a double countout, so it’s time for more! Let’s hope the Charlotte crowd doesn’t start chanting “stupid” at Kingston like those monstrous Torontonians. Kofi already put Orton through another table at Madison Square Garden this week, bringing them full circle on the “stupid! stupid!” thing, so a clean win tonight will give us all the chance to wash our hands of this feud.
Prediction: Kofi retains.
Universal Championship: Seth Rollins (c) vs Braun Strowman
They’re tag team champions together. They’re both good guys. One of them is big and one of them is small. One of them has a deep cartoon giant voice and one of them has a little cartoon mouse voice. They both have beards. It’s a classic David and Goliath dynamic, if David and Goliath had been casual friends with each other. Also if David had been more whiny and Goliath kind of a sweetie. You know, that dynamic.
Seth Rollins got booed on Raw when he called himself the best wrestler in the world, and he was with Stone Cold Steve Austin. I don’t know if fans are connecting with his championship reign the way WWE expected. Now seems as good a time as any to pull the trigger on a Strowman championship run. Maybe they can have a cool rematch at Hell in a Cell.
Prediction: Give it to Strowman, why not?
Raw Women’s Championship: Becky Lynch (c) vs Sasha Banks
After a hiatus of over four months, Sasha Banks returned to Raw with blue hair and a bad attitude. She’s sick of Becky Lynch, being nice, respecting people’s dead dads, and not hitting people with chairs. Becky Lynch welcomed the challenge, maintaining that she’s on top, doing what Sasha Banks never could, for a reason. Ouch! As cool as some of the other matches on the card are, this is the big one. This should be absolutely killer.
Prediction: I think it’s time. Sasha Banks wins.