The showcase of the immortals! The granddaddy of them all! The prettiest peacock in the zoo! Whichever way you slice it, Mania 37 will be another historic two-night event, this time taking place in front of exactly 36% more fans than were there last year, and also Bad Bunny. It’s the one weekend a year where even WWE’s worst critics will probably sit through at least 3-5 hours of their programming, and where wrestling fans get to do nothing but watch 20+ minute matches and drink for four days straight. Let’s get started.
Night 1 (April 10th)
WWE Championship: Bobby Lashley (c) vs Drew McIntyre
Lashley knocked off The Miz to jump start his All Mighty Era, but now he’s down two bad bffs after turning his back on Shelton Benjamin and Cedric Alexander. McIntyre still does the whole kilt and sword thing, except he’s started pairing it with a nice leather jacket, and it doesn’t work at all. A real clash of the titans.
Prediction: Lashley retains here. McIntyre dominated his title reign, but he’s certainly got enough going for him to stay relevant outside of the title picture. Lashley should hold onto the belt for a while.
Bad Bunny and Damian Priest vs. The Miz and John Morrison
Unironically, I think this will be great. Bad Bunny is a longtime fan of WWE, and he’s living out his dream on the grandest stage of them all. Also, it’s not like I’ve ever had a bad time watching Miz get punched. As far as celeb feuds go, this one has been fun, and it’s given us another classic Miz and Morrison jam. No complaints from me.
Prediction: Bunny and Priest for sure. Priest cements himself on the main roster, and Bad Bunny writes a diss track about John Morrison’s 80’s step-mom hairstyle. We all win.
Seth Rollins vs. Cesaro
A man who owns more printed suits than I’ve ever seen in my life vs. a man who should probably just be walking around shirtless. After returning from hiatus, Rollins tried to preach to the SmackDown roster about following him into the light. Cesaro responded by swinging him 20 times. This should be excellent, and Cesaro is on the Mania main card, which is all I could ever ask for in life.
Prediction: Cesaro. Rollins’ revamped Messiah gimmick doesn’t have a ton of direction, but he’s been so entertaining in the role, he’ll be able to survive a loss here.
Naomi & Lana vs. Mandy Rose & Dana Brooke vs. The Riott Squad vs. Natalya & Tamina (Tag Team Turmoil Match)
The winner here will face Jax and Baszler for the Women’s Tag Team Championships the following night. All of these teams have showed the champs they’re not going to back down from a fight, and now they get to tear each other apart. This could be a lot of fun, or it could run about three minutes. Really depends how the company is feeling.
Prediction: Naomi and Lana. Not only will them beating Jax and Baszler on Sunday finally finish off the Lana/tables saga, but it’ll be well deserved for both women. Lana has continued to improve in the ring, and Naomi is long overdue for literally all the belts.
Braun Strowman vs Shane McMahon (Steel Cage Match)
I truly hate it here sometimes. Shane thinks Braun is stupid, Braun thinks Shane is gonna get these hands. They’re in a cage.
Prediction: After all the McMahon abuse, it’s gotta be Strowman. Although we’ll all be losers for sitting through this.
Raw Tag Team Championships: The New Day (c) vs. AJ Styles and Omos
Turtleneck of the month club member Omos makes his in-ring debut at the show of shows. The not-so-friendly giant has been backing up Styles for a couple months now, but this is his first time officially stepping in the ring, and he’s going against one of WWE’s greatest tag teams ever. Also, I guess AJ will be there for moral support.
Prediction: I’m gonna say Omos and AJ here. It depends what they plan on doing with the big man, but after serving as Style’s muscle for a while, he could move on to bigger and better things.
SmackDown Women’s Championship: Sasha Banks (c) vs. Bianca Belair
The match of the weekend, if not WWE’s entire year. Banks and Belair are two of the absolute best at what they do, and this should be a barnburner. Having Bianca win the women’s Royal Rumble was proof that WWE very occasionally knows a good thing when they see it, and Sasha as the face of SmackDown has dropped banger after banger. I have absolutely no complaints.
Prediction: Belair claims WrESTleMania as her own. The rematch will slap, and Bianca can elevate anyone she comes in contact with.
Night 2 (April 11th)
Raw Women’s Championship: Asuka (c) vs Rhea Ripley
Ripley making her main roster debut at Mania is surprising, but the company has been high on her for a long time. We’ve seen a more vicious Asuka since getting her teeth kicked out by Shayna a few months ago; Rhea’s brutality may have met its match. If you ignore the logic of anyone who actually wrestled Asuka lately deserving a shot before Ripley, this should be very good.
Prediction: I have to go with Ripley. It’s her first main roster match, it’s Mania, it would be a huge L to take. A shame Asuka wasn’t given more to do as Raw champ; remember those weeks we spent on Lacey Evans and Ric Flair’s relationship instead? Wrestling is cruel.
United States Championship: Riddle (c) vs. Sheamus
Riddle’s new thing is CGI birds coming out of his feet when he loses the flops. Incredible to think about that not only being pitched, but making it to TV. I can only hope Sheamus gets something similar, like a bunch of pigeons flying out of his jacket or something.
Prediction: Riddle seems likely to hold the US title for at least a little longer.
Intercontinental Championship: Big E (c) vs. Apollo Crews (Nigerian Drum Fight)
I’m not 100% sure on what this stipulation entails, but it seems like a no DQ fight. Crews was so offended by another loss to Big E that he plans to beat on him like a drum. Crews’ new persona has received mixed reviews, but he seems very confident in the role, and it’s certainly the most intimidating we’ve ever seen him.
Prediction: Tough weekend for The New Day, but I’m gonna go with Crews.
Kevin Owens vs. Sami Zayn
A tale as old as time: KO and Sami. Canada’s two favorite sons will be going head to head again, renewing a rivalry that we all hope truly makes them fight forever. Kevin is the hard working talk show host; Sami is the conspiracy documentary filmmaker. Who’d have ever thought we’d end up here.
Prediction: This feels close to call, but I’m gonna say Kevin. I’d be happy either way. I’d be happy if it ended in a no contest with them hugging.
The Fiend vs. Randy Orton
I’m also very excited for this one; WWE hasn’t dipped into the cinematic matches for a minute, so it’s time to see if they can turn out another Boneyard classic. The Fiend is extra well done and deep fried, while Randy is puking up black goo sometimes. Can The Viper put the Funhouse behind him? Probably not, my friend. Probably not.
Prediction: If they want anyone to ever look forward to Wyatt’s schtick again, it has to be The Fiend. Maybe he and Bliss will adopt Orton and they’ll raise a nice little possessed family.
Universal Championship: Roman Reigns (c) vs. Edge vs. Daniel Bryan
The boys of summer are ready to rumble. Edge challenged Roman, but Roman has tapped to Bryan, but Edge wasn’t able to see because he accidentally got wiped out by Daniel. Naturally, everybody hates everybody. This should absolutely bang and is a fitting end to a weekend chock full of big men slapping meat.
Prediction: Maybe it’s wishful thinking, but I want to say Edge here.