Vince McMahon’s Walk: A Review

Vince McMahon's Walk


  • Forget the Stone Cold Stunner, Rock Bottom, Diamond Cutter, Jackhammer, or Scorpion Death Lock, *this* is the move that defined a generation of wrestling.
  • Imagine Vince McMahon chasing you like this.
  • If Vince wears a suit that's too big for his muscly body, his limbs wiggle around like David Byrne's.
  • If Vince wears a suit that's too small for his muscly body, you get to see him experience a rare moment of discomfort.
  • If Vince wears a suit that's just right for his muscly body, you may as well turn off the cameras and go home as soon as he hits the ring because that's it, that's the peak of this episode of Monday Night Raw.
  • Though nobody asked him to do it, it's kind of nice of Vince McMahon to show us how the human body moves if one dedicates themselves solely to weight training. Cardio? HA! I don't think Vince McMahon has ever stretched, y'all.
  • I've got two words for ya: DX parody.
  • You remember how that one lady who was thirst tweeting about Beto O'Rourke learned that her legs cramping up during orgasms was because she was dehydrated and not because the sex was good? There's probably a similar mechanic at work here.
  • I don't know that I could live with the guilt if Vince McMahon chased me and tore a quad because he didn't stretch first.

Colette Arrand

Colette Arrand is a minor transsexual poet and nu-metal enthusiast.

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