“Tall” Paul Wight: A Review

All fall to tall Paul.

During the Monday Night Wars, Vince McMahon famously stated that WCW didn’t know how to book a giant and then proceeded to even more famously shit on our good friend “Tall” Paul Wight for the better part of two decades. About halfway through that journey—and much less famously—Tall Paul DM’d me a very ominous “So?” after I markishly called him out on Twitter for massively whiffing on a Knockout Punch on known giant (and all-around) career killer Vince McMahon to close out a Monday Night Raw.

I thrashed on the TL in embarrassing ways following the DM but my point stood and stands: the knockout punch sucks, people want and NEED giants to choke slam motherfuckers. The NBA has always rang false to me for this reason, as I find it hard to believe that so many tall men can assemble in spirited competition with zero choke slams to be found.

Tall Paul heard the call and gave a clinic in giant shit in the 3 minute 10 second semi-main event that was no one’s cooldown match. Yes, it was a raging inferno of white hot fiyahhhh as we all marveled at a giant man grabbing smaller men by the neck and tossing them around. The Punch was still there, but it was only a setup for a bestial shoulder tackle on jacked-but-not-giant Nick Comoroto before catching also-un-giant goon QT Marshall by the throat, lifting him up, and slamming his ass down, thus satisfying an urge that’s existed ever since the first 7′ tall man walked—nay, stalked—the earth 10,000 or so years ago.

"Tall" Paul Wight

8.5

Pros
  • CHOKE
  • FUCKING
  • SLAMMMMMM
  • I'd take a goozle from Tall Paul any day of the week, twice on Sunday
  • Big Showki-ism is dead, all fall to Tall Paul
  • TALL PAUL *clap clap* TALL PAUL *clap clap* TALL PAUL *clap clap* TALL PAUL
Cons
  • Singlet looked a bit bunched up toward the top, get some thinner straps and let those traps breathe, big man
  • Get rid of that guitar riff at the beginning of “New Room, New View” and let that WELLLLLL rip. Don’t just jam a thumb in Vince’s eye, stick a thorn in there
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Alex Kellar

Alex "WORLDWIDE" Kellar (@TheTowerSkin) is a semi-unretired pro wrestler, co-host of the Bored 2 Life podcast, and the singer of Ratfucker.

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