Sting Finally Blending His Makeup: A Review

HE DID IT, GUYS! STING FINALLY DID IT! HE APPLIED HIS MAKEUP IN SUCH A WAY THAT SUGGESTS THAT HE KNOWS THAT HIS FACE IS NOT A ROUGH ASSEMBLAGE OF STRAIGHT LINES. I AM YELLING BECAUSE I AM HAPPY. WE DID IT.

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Sting Finally Blending His Makeup

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Pros
  • You have no idea how powerful I feel right now.
  • Sting is the Highlander of specially themed makeup, and his spooky "me and my son are going to fight you" ensemble was so good it was already on a t-shirt.
  • Just a 'lil pop of color to let you know Sting can be a dad *and* have fun.
  • The way he did it made the sides of his face look like smoke. Or ghosts. Both things being pretty rad, mucho points for the sides of the face.
Cons
  • Pushing facepaint that far up your forehead means that sweat and contact is going to make it run. Someone tell Sting about Blue Marble sealing spray next time.
  • The special edition t-shirt never came off of Sting's body. Pop that top, Stinger! Traps accentuate facepaint, and you know it.
  • Darby Allin probably taught him how to blend.
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Colette Arrand

Colette Arrand is a minor transsexual poet and nu-metal enthusiast.

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