9.5

Paul Wight on Royal Pains: A Review

Look, I know I’m probably the only person in the entire world who religiously watched Royal Pains. Even among USA beach law fans, it was always the forgotten son. But I was super depressed in high school, so you simply would not believe the amount of television I watched. It was just astronomical. Set in the fantastical and fictional world of Long Island, Royal Pains follows a doctor who makes house calls to exclusively rich people in the Hamptons. So it’s a nice look into the future of American healthcare. This wrestler appearance is unique because I distinctly remember the advertising around the medical drama was promoted as guest starring not seasoned actor Paul Wight, but “the worlds largest athlete” WWE Superstar The Big Show. Unlike other appearances—like Twitter quitter Cody on Warehouse 13—I knew this very large man was a professional wrestler before I even saw him on screen. To avoid confusion, and because it’s the name he’s currently going by in AEW, we’re just going to call the actor/wrestler/multi-talent Paul Wight. The former Show plays an actor, Donald, known for starring as the Garbage Collector in a very famous film series in this world. He suffers from dizzy spells and leg pains, as well as the complications of a hot younger sister with short term memory issues. So there’s really a lot going on. It turns out Donald is dealing with from zinc poisoning due to his denture cream, which I have to imagine is a common issue for wrestlers. Always check those ingredients. The episode ends on a happy note, with a giant hug from the big man and the horrifying hint of Knucklehead (2010) in the air.

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