Offering CM Punk a Drink: A Review

Offering CM Punk a Drink

7.2

CM Punk went into the crowd before taking up headphones at AEW Rampage last night. While in the front row, a dude offered him a sip of his rum and Coke or Jack and Coke, whatever kinda watered-down, overpriced mixed beverage one can drink at an arena.

Pros
  • Nobody has claimed that it looks like a Renaissance painting yet, which is good because that's what usually happens when there's a lot of people standing around making faces.
  • Everyone's faces are really good.
  • Maybe the guy mistook CM Punk for noted crowd wandering beer drinker The Sandman.
  • Maybe the guy assumed that Punk's public life, much of which involved espousing his straight edge lifestyle, was in fact kayfabe, and he was just testing them.
  • Everyone played it off like it was really fun! Which it kinda was!
Cons
  • No masks. None. None dangling from ears, hanging under chins, clutched in hands, at least in the general vicinity of Punk. I've given up on the subject, but every time I see an AEW crowd I'm like, uhh, I'm going to have to quarantine. I was already going to, but I *have* to, you know?
  • Guy probably went home that night and remembered that Punk's catchphrase used to be "I'm straight edge and I'm better than you" and felt a slight tinge of "aww, fuck, I really boned that one." I know the feeling.
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Colette Arrand

Colette Arrand is a minor transsexual poet and nu-metal enthusiast.

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