Okada Cruise 2018 has begun… pic.twitter.com/ts51CHYCYx
— ROCKY ROMERO???????? (@azucarRoc) October 25, 2018
Hunktears: One Year Anniversary of the Okada Cruise
Sure, plenty of things happened in wrestling this week. But was any of it more important than the time Kazuchika Okada rented a boat so he could take his pals Rocky Romero, Trent? and Chuck Taylor on a nice ride? No. Unequivocally, nothing that happened in wrestling this week was as significant as this lovely day these four men spent together on the water exactly one year ago. I’m very happy for Chuck and Trent? and their newfound popularity in All Elite Wrestling, but the Best Friends in CHAOS was a short-lived treat I will never forget. Which is why this week, I honor the Okada Cruise. Thank you Okada.
Colette Arrand: The sad faces of every character render in WWE 2K20
WWE 2K20 has been covered extensively, but as someone who doesn’t own a system or computer capable of gameplay, I’ve had to watch at a distance as 2K Games’ seventh attempt at professional wrestling goes beyond mauling the sport itself, choosing instead to dismantle the laws of motion, space, and time instead. While video is captivating, what I love most about the game is the way the characters are rendered. They’re all wrong, obviously, some of them to the point of wondering if they were modeling the wrestlers from memory, with no photo reference. What’s wild is that, scanning through the game’s endless roster, the renders themselves seem painfully aware of how awful they and the world around them are. No matter who they are, no matter how joyful or scary or threatening or nice they are in reality, every WWE Superstar and Legend in WWE 2K20 wears the permafrown of a person thoroughly defeated by life. It’s an impossible achievement, to get something so wrong and yet capture the spirit and mood of our moment in history so thoroughly. I hope it’s rewarded with every game of the year award that exists.
John Warren: Diamond Dallas Page on TNT in 2019
My Monday Night Wars Lizard Brain lit up like a Christmas tree when extremely in-shape octogenarian Diamond Dallas Page showed up to clown Chris Jericho on TNT like it was 1998 all over again. I’m not saying I wish DDP was back and competing every week, but watching Jericho’s face drop like he saw a ghost from 20 years ago was extremely good. It’s exactly the kind of (admittedly cheap) moment that if you told me about it, I’d wince. But seeing it and hearing the crowd reaction was a warm hug. Props to the commentary team and production for not driving it into the ground, either. AEW has been surprisingly adept at navigating those nostalgia waters with a bit of subtlety, which is a breath of fresh air compared to the competing product.
Mer: Humberto Carrillo
A whole person gets the nod from me this week, and it’s a man so handsome they made that his whole gimmick; Humberto Carrillo. From his show-stealing debut on Raw, to embracing his Power Rangers heritage on Twitter, to even posting the world’s cutest video with a puppy on Instagram, Humberto’s been on a roll this week. Not only did he force Seth Rollins to give maybe his first ever correct opinion in calling him the bright future of WWE, but he also personally thanked almost everyone who wished him a happy birthday on twitter last week. We don’t deserve this Libra king. I firmly believe his dimples will give us world peace within the decade. And for the record, he’s only just turned 24. Which means he’s my age, which means I’ve truly done nothing with my life. Congrats on your everything, Humberto. And I really hope you adopted that puppy.