— Derek ????????⚓️???? (@DerekEsquire) October 17, 2019
Mer: Clementine Cassidy
There’s a young boy who dresses like Orange Cassidy, and it’s the best thing I’ve ever seen. This kid has it all; the shades, the lazy thumbs up, the indifference to seemingly everything around him. He was first in attendance at the Dynamite premiere in DC, and then again at this week’s episode in Philadelphia. This boy is way cooler than I could ever hope to be, and this past week AEW recognized a legend in the making. After the show stopped filming, lil Clementine Cassidy (that’s official and makes me shed a tear) was invited into the ring and managed to accomplish what not many men on the AEW roster will ever do- he pinned Cody Rhodes, and to wild applause.
As much as we dumb adults get caught up in analyzing every little thing about wrestling, we forget who it’s really for; 11-year-olds. It looked like this kid had the time of his life dressing as his favorite wrestler and being in the ring with these men he looks up to. Sometimes wrestling is just really, really good to us. Shoutout to Clementine, undefeated and unparalleled in AEW. Hope this got you some serious elementary school cred.
Colette Arrand: Big Man Little Board
Look, the real best thing about AEW this week was the Mox/Pac vs. Page/Omega tag team match, which got me to feel Feelings even though Pac is the only wrestler of the four that I am actively a fan of. THAT SAID, our job is to draw your eye to the little things that bring joy, and in that regard it is 100% a giant man holding a tiny skateboard for the first time in his life. I sincerely hope that Hager’s AEW debut match is against Darby Allin, because the vibe between the two is the same that I caught in all the gay bully porn I watched as an undergrad. Also, there’s an outside change that Hager hucks Allin into the third row, which would be siiiiiiiick.
Hunktears: Drunk Queens in Goddesses of Stardom Tag League
I don’t always keep up with Stardom, partially because I have a lot to do and mostly because Bea Priestley is champion right now and I’m mad about it. That said, I was thrilled to see that Irish sensation Session Moth Martina is back in Japan to team up with Sumire Natsu for Stardom’s tag team tournament. They may both be younger than me, but their insistence on drinking a lot and wearing leopard print gives them something very special and rare in Stardom: MILF vibes. I stan.
Honorable Mentions: The DX edit of Candice Lerae and Team Kick, Hangman Page’s drawing of Chuck Taylor’s dead horse, Jushin Thunder Liger vs Minoru Suzuki, Jon Moxley’s “come hither” gesture, KENTA’s promo on Ishii.