Daniel Bryan & Drew Gulak: Wrestling with Social Isolation (and Children’s Toys)

Two technical masters, in their trunks, squeezing balls. What more can you ask for?

It’s a weird time for everyone in the world, but especially for people who make their living performing half naked while trying to get a crowd to yell mean things at them. As wrestling evolves through new health restrictions and audience-less shows, things have shown they can get a little absurd. A sport that thrives on audience interaction being presented without an audience turned out to be funny in ways I never would have imagined, but you can’t ignore the reality of the large risk these companies are taking continuing to put on shows. Whether you think wrestling should be continuing during a pandemic or not, at least we’ll always have the safety net of wrestlers on Twitter, which will absolutely never produce anything unfavorable. Ever.

Following their match at Elimination Chamber, Daniel Bryan and Drew Gulak are becoming friends, if their growing and overly sexual Twitter banter is anything to go by. This week started with Bryan asking his new BFF for some solo workout tips he could practice during the responsible social isolation he was partaking in. Gulak, vigilant for scoliosis at all times, provided a helpful visual on how to do a deadly serious duck walk (complete with sound effects), and told his new protege he had to work out in his gear to effectively maximize his efforts. He then instructed Bryan to practice his headlock on a plastic ball, which had to have been a great sight for any of his neighbors. Gulak, wearing full gear in an empty parking lot because of course that’s what he does with his free time, more power to him, then demonstrated his own headlock technique on a small, vibrating blue ball. He also told us said ball was lumpy, and while that information didn’t seem directly pertinent, I can not deny I am a better person for knowing it. The interaction ended with a video of Gulak squeezing a pineapple for our viewing pleasure. Absolute pure wrestling here, folks.

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With all of the difficult announcements WWE’s had to make lately, it’s good to see their talent using social distancing time to really enjoy themselves and share the video proof with all their fans. There’s a lot to be said for the strangeness of entertainment right now; sports suspended, film and television on hold, some wrestlers lightly suggesting they are martyrs for putting on a show with a lot of contact during a time where everyone is encouraged to stay 6 feet apart from one another. But we still have grown men making ball jokes at each other online, and doing a lot of groaning in their backyards, so there’s that. I mean a lot of groaning. Maybe things will be okay.