Trains. From our anthropomorphic friends to targets for Old West robbers to the ever-moving prisons on which we circumnavigate the frozen Earth, they’re here to stay. People love these things. And there are all kinds of games featuring trains, from simulators to fantasy adventures. So I was thinking, maybe we should just stop doing video games and start doing trains, instead?
I got this idea from a recent episode of Friends Reunion, a podcast for discerning listeners. Around 21 minutes into episode 78, “Look at What You’ve Done,” host LB Hunktears utters the phrase “Pivot to Train.” Ever since, I have not known peace. I can’t get the idea of turning this entire website into a train enthusiast publication out of my head.
Let’s look at the facts. Trains are a beautiful means of transportation that bring together various social classes and promote restful, pensive journeys across the plains and mountains. Sometimes murders happen in them, which is pretty exciting. A train will ferry you to your destination as if you were riding upon the back of the great Shai-Hulud, the sandworm of Arrakis. When you embark upon a train, you become as a god.
What about video games? They’re fine, I guess. I’ve been really enjoying SNKRX lately. But I bet I would enjoy it more on a train. And then, if I’m on a train already, I don’t even need to play a game. I can look out the window as the landscape scrolls past. I can purchase an expensive drink from the dining car. I can perhaps even make a chance deal with a stranger in which we each agree to “solve” the other’s problem.
When is the last time you heard about someone doing Strangers On a Train in a video game? It doesn’t happen. I mean, I’d believe that it had happened in EVE Online or something like that, but EVE Online is arguably closer to a train than a video game anyway.
Trains are the future. Trains are the way forward. And I’m excited about the possibility of being ahead of the curve on this, as I present a new direction to the higher-ups that definitely will not get me fired. But if I do get fired, guess what? That’s more time to spend on trains.
What are some of your favorite trains? Should we do trains instead of games? Let me know.