Thank You Capcom for More of the Big Vampire Woman in Resident Evil 8

The big girl seems like a big part of the game, and we're all better off.

Resident Evil 8 is a horror game, but the greatest scare it’s given me so far is that the big, hot vampire woman wouldn’t prominently feature in the full game. After weeks of memes and fan art, however, that fear has been put to rest like the non-living dead. All eight feet of the new villain took centerstage early in the Resident Evil 8 showcase — featuring extended gameplay for the first time since the new first-person title was announced.

The big lady, who we know is named Dimitrescu, provides some hints about the game’s plot and a bigger bad called Mother Miranda. Dimitrescu also mentions a brother — all of which points to another warped familial structure like the bad guys from Resident Evil 7. Each of those villains functioned quite a lot like “stalkers” from another Capcom horror series: Clock Tower. Different areas of the estate you explored in RE7 were effectively ruled by these enemies. Sometimes lesser foes popped up, but the big bads were invincible. Each had unique rules for avoiding them instead of straight murder.

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Anyway! None of that really matters. Not to the internet, anyway. Everyone is much more excited that the big Resident Evil woman is super hot. She’s a bit thick, fashionable, and has inhuman height that speaks to her monster girl power over players. Her “daughters” will apparently also chase Ethan (our hero from RE7) around some kind of castle. They sport bloodstained mouths and split into swarms of mosquitoes, while promising to cut the protagonist open and drain his blood. To which I say: don’t threaten me with a good time!!!

Monster girls (and monster guys) attract different audiences for different reasons. But power, and a remove from the complicated sexual politics of real people, is inherently kind of hot. We also don’t get a lot of big, hot women in games in general. Resident Evil 8 has tapped into something it might not even Capcom may not fully understand. We’ll probably need to shoot Lady Dimitrescu in three glowing weak points with a shotgun before the end of the game. Or perhaps she’ll turn Ethan into a vampire and we can spend the rest of the game as her slave. The gamers can dream!

Either way, I just want to personally thank Capcom for more of this kind of content in my life.

With or without getting stepped on by a giant woman who wants to slurp out our bodily fluids, Resident Evil 8 looks like a good time. The developers are clearly tapping into Resident Evil 4 vibes to go with their Bloodborne look. Inventory Tetris, a traveling merchant, and a more Gothic setting all stand out. And a castle seems like the perfect place for exploration puzzles (something RE7 also revived for the series). Throw in the… excitement of getting chased by the big vampire woman, and I think we might have a recipe for success. We’ll know for sure when Lady Dimitrescu and assorted guests grace our consoles with their intense, crushing, potentially choking grips on May 7, 2021.