I Successfully Fooled Nintendo Into Thinking I’m a Fitness King

I played a lot of Ring Fit in the first half of the year.

It’s the end of the year, so platforms like TikTok and Spotify are doing their year-end wrap ups to let users know what their 2020 looked like on their services. Video games are also making these little presentations, including Nintendo, which launched its 2020 year in review tool yesterday. A lot of us will probably see a major spike in playtime during the first few months of Animal Crossing: New Horizons, which was a staple for the system and really the year of 2020 as a whole as it was used to bring folks together during the coronavirus pandemic. But along with showing your playing habits, Nintendo’s year in review tool also attempts to distill your tastes into a title. And it’s here that I realized the game I spent the most time playing on my Switch might have given Nintendo a very skewed understanding of who I am.

Despite being a Switch port beggar (please put Mass Effect: Legendary Edition on Switch), I actually didn’t spend a ton of time playing my console/handheld hybrid in 2020. I had an uptick in time played when Pokemon Sword & Shield’s “Crown Tundra” DLC launched in October, but beyond that, the Switch and I had a fairly casual relationship after I dipped off Animal Crossing: New Horizons, with most of my gaming time being spent on my PlayStation 4, then eventually my PlayStation 5. But because of that, my most-played game was Ring Fit Adventure, which I played almost daily for several months before kind of bouncing off in favor of other exercise alternatives. As such, Nintendo did not believe me worthy of a title like “core gamer” like most of my friends. Instead, I got this:

I like to “get active,” Nintendo says, as I continue to drop off my exercise routine due to seasonal depression. Doug Bowser himself has deemed me a “mover & shaker,” despite my working from the comfort of my bed that I haven’t gotten out of today. The last time I did anything that resembled being a “shaker” was when Bioware surprise teased the next Mass Effect at The Game Awards, because let me tell you: I was shook.

Damn, I really did play some Ring Fit this year:

As inaccurate as it is, I wish I could be who you think I was, Nintendo. I wish I could be a fitness king and not a guy who dropped off Ring Fit Adventure after several months of putting in the work. But I can’t be that guy, Nintendo. Not with the weight of the world sitting upon my shoulders that makes me too tired to put on ankle weights and do a socially-distanced jog after a long day of work. Maybe I’ll live up to your lofty expectations of me in 2021, but until then, please do not perceive me sitting my ass playing Pokemon. And to my Ring Fit Adventure ring: do not look upon me with disdain and disappointment as I eat Christmas dinner on Friday.