For a game with social simulation elements, Persona 5 Royal doesn’t let me do a lot of things I normally do in real life. Like stay out past 8 p.m. on a school night and date men.
I was able to deal with Morgana, the talking cat who lives with me, constantly preventing me from leaving my coffee shop attic that I call home at night, and yeah, not being allowed to date men is a recurring problem in the Persona series that P-Studio seems unwilling to address. So I expect that, and can adjust my expectations accordingly.
But we’re not here to talk about P-Studio’s regressive views on queer identity, we’re here to talk about Morgana. This cat, who is trying to control my digital life from the comfort of my home, has gone a step too far.
In Persona 5 Royal, you can spend your free time doing various activities in Tokyo. Whether this is hanging out with friends, earning money at a part time job, or just doing normal fun things like going out to eat or going to an arcade. You know what I do in the real world when I’ve got free time? I go see movies. And you know what’s totally dope? You can do that in Persona 5 Royal too.
It has in-game benefits, as well. Seeing a movie can increase one of your five social stats, which can, in turn, help you progress through different relationships. Say, you go see a romantic comedy. This will help you learn more about how to be a good person to a hypothetical significant other, so your Kindness stat will get a few points dumped into it.
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But there’s a particular part of my movie-going behavior that is just unacceptable to one talking cat. Thanks to the magic of the Regal Unlimited subscription, I can see movies for free anytime I want, as many times as I want. So you know what I do when I really dig a movie? I see it more than once. Sometimes I’ll see a movie twice, like the Sonic the Hedgehog movie. If I’m really feeling something, like Birds of Prey, I might see it up to four times. Then, if I’m head over heels in love with a movie, like Frozen II, I might see it more times than that. How many times did I see and cry at Anna and Elsa’s latest adventure? Too many times to tell the world in a public post. But it was free, so it was worth it.
For Morgana, that’s apparently unforgivable behavior, that only he and his infinite cat wisdom can put a stop to….and he certainly did. As I found out while playing through Persona 5 Royal. There was a movie showing that would have improved the social stats I needed, but Morgana decided I had “had enough” of that movie. So I wasn’t allowed to go see it again.
It’s bad enough I can’t go to the theater right now because of the coronavirus pandemic. No one can, and it’s prompted companies like Disney to put movies like Ownard on digital platforms so they can recoup any costs in these trying times. So I don’t need Morgana in Persona 5 Royal trying to stop me from my one and only vice in a digital world.
So, here’s my response to Morgana:
Now listen here, you little shit, I let you police my day every time you tell me I should go to sleep before and after we do basically anything of consequence in this game. So if I want to spend what precious free time I have out of the confines of your arbitrary schedule to see Tanktop Millionaire for a fifth time, I think I should be allowed to do it. It’s my money I made working one of my eight part-time jobs, even working at the bar, which sounds like it’s probably not the place for a high school. But I earn this money to help fund our various Phantom Thieves antics so we can help you find out about your past, so I would appreciate it if you would stop letting me know your opinions on my movie watching habits.