Bungie, Please Put JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure in Destiny 2

So, I’ve been thinking. Destiny is a franchise about superpowered warriors fighting each other using magical powers that operate on arcane, complicated principles. And you know what else fits that description? JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure.

This realization immediately prompted in me a powerful desire for JJBA-themed content in Destiny. And look: I hate Two Things as much as anyone who’s been online for the better part of two decades. But Destiny has been borrowing from pop culture from the start. Nearly every dance in the game is based on a music video. One Exotic armor piece references AC-DC. You can get an emote that’s just KC Green’s “On Fire” webcomic, or the hated salt man GIF.

Even recent finishers draw from a range of sources. The Golden Age Dropkick is from professional wrestling, the Belgian Flying Kick references Jean-Claude van Damme in Kickboxer, Fist of Fury is the iconic Falcon Punch from Super Smash Bros., and Flash Kick is one of Guile’s special moves in Street Fighter — they didn’t even change the name for that one. (And Guile is even based on a JoJo character.)

So JJBA content in Destiny wouldn’t be a radical change for the game. And what a wealth of possibilities it would afford. Imagine an “ORA ORA” or “MUDA MUDA” finisher in which a Guardian pummels their foe at lightning speed. Or one that has them stop time and throw a handful of knives at the enemy, as in the climactic fight between Jotaro and Dio.

More Destiny:

What about emotes? Can you imagine loading into the Tower and seeing a dozen Guardians all contorting their bodies into positions that spit in the face of good sense and human physiology? I will buy an entire pack of JoJo pose emotes, I promise.

And I’m not alone. I have a feeling that the overlap between Destiny-loving fucks and JJBA fans is pretty big. Besides, considering that JoJo has spawned dozens of memes over its decades-long run, even people who’ve never read or seen the series will recognize references to it.

So how about it, Bungie? Could a monkey fight a man? Could a Dreg fight a Guardian? There’s only one way to find out.