Did Pokemon ASMR Star Chespin Eat The Entire Microphone?

There's really cute Pokemon stuff coming out lately, including a tale about a hospital-bound kid fol— wait, where's ASMR Chespin's mic?

Pokemon has been on a serious roll with making approachable content lately. The famous Ash Ketchum has recently entered the Galar region in the official anime series. Meanwhile, the Twilight Wings webseries looks like it’s going to be an emotional ride. Just the premise alone is tear bait! And the whole aesthetic of the short  — the animation, the music, the bright colors — is already more than moving.

And then, on the kid-focused channel for Pokemon content, there’s a cute little new ASMR video. But behind the crisp crunchiness, there may be something more sinister — a Pokemon health hazard, one might even say.

Let’s take it a step back. On the Pokemon Kids TV channel, there’s a nice variety of Pokemon content that’s more than kid-friendly. In theory, they’re all cute little things you can leave unblocked while you leave your kid to their own YouTube devices. Most recently, there’s the ASMR clip, “Chespin’s Happy Snack Time.

“This is a ASMR video for those who need a gentle Pokémon touch in everything!” the description reads. “Watch/listen as Chespin binges on a snack, happily munching away!” And to be honest, it’s exactly what’s on the box! It’s eight whole minutes of Chespin munching and crunching on piles upon piles of cute little macaroons.

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Sadly, it’s not a delicate act from Chespin, as many ASMR acts are. It just happens to, uh… sound ASMR-y? That’s an essential component of ASMR videos — most of the time, you have the ASMR subject leaning in towards the microphone. You can see the satisfying action taking place immediately in front of the microphone. You associate the closeness of that action to the microphone with closeness to your own ears.

Here, too, we can hear every little mouthful of macaron eaten by this precious Chespin. So — where’s the mic? This Pokemon ASMR’s audio is so crystal-clear that it has to be really close, right? We’re not taking in-universe excuses for this? We really do not see a microphone here?

Good, we’ve come to an agreement that we cannot see the microphone. Or not so good. Because then that means Chespin ate the whole damn microphone. Imagine. Your eardrums picking up every crumb of macaron smacking against Chespin’s teeth, but also the mouth-opening half of the bite. That’s too advanced.

The microphone is coming from the inside.  That’s the only conclusion we can draw here.

I hope this was just a hungry mistake on Chespin’s behalf, Pokemon Kids TV. We get it, that friend is hungry. We just don’t want any labor disputes ruining our perfectly wholesome Pokemon content.

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Victoria Rose

Victoria is a Brooklyn-based, chaotic-good former dungeon master and a Contributor-At-Large for Fanbyte. She's a self-proclaimed esports pundit, and used to do Dota 2 news and reporting as a full-time part-time gig. She's also four red pandas stacked in a hoodie. [she/her/hers or they/their/theirs]

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