Earlier today, a DLC for Pokémon Sword & Shield was announced, which will feature a new character named Avery, a psychic-type trainer. What the DLC announcement failed to mention is that Avery is my boyfriend and he would love it if you would join us this week for game night in our home.
I met Avery in an erotic hypnosis subreddit, where he said he was an expert on the subject. We quickly hit it off, talking about his love of model trains, tabletop RPGs, IPAs, and psychic-type Pokémon. We’ve been together ever since. We host a weekly game night and Avery has asked me to ask you if you would like to come over. It’s on Friday. Our garage spot is currently occupied by his unicycle, but there’s plenty of street parking.
Avery is working on a tabletop RPG of his own based on the work of his favorite band, The String Cheese Incident. He’s in a terrible mood right now because he has been trying to grow a mustache since Movember, and it just isn’t coming in. I got him an even taller top hat for the holidays hoping to cheer him up, but it didn’t work. I really think that if you came over for game night and maybe drank some absinthe with us before trying out his passion project (it’s an adventure game set in a steampunk jam-band post-apocalypse), it would make him happy.
Please let me know if you’re game (haha, get it). I know tomorrow night is very short notice but Avery told me that he thinks you’re “rather attractive” and would love to get to know you better.