MOVIES

‘What Did Jack Do?’ Review: Crisp and Unsettling

Like all of David Lynch’s work, What Did Jack Do? is as much a sensory experience as a story. Its every shot and special effect is fraught with cryptic clues to some terrible interior truth, its narrative at once simplistic to the point of parody and fraught with contradictory and…

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What Did Jack Do?

REVIEWS

‘Underwater’ Review: Wet, Murky, Shallow

During Underwater’s opening flurry of newspaper articles, conspiracy websites, and redacted government documents, it manages to misspell the word “buoyancy.” It’s not indicative so much of the lack of care put into the movie as it is the level of skill with which it was made. Directed by William Eubank…

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REVIEWS

BBC’s Dracula Review: Biting and Sucking

BBC’s Dracula, created by Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss of Dr. Who and Sherlock fame, is exactly the television show the prior half of this sentence suggests. Equal parts toffee-nosed primness and schoolboy irreverence, it approaches Bram Stoker’s seminal novel with a confidence unsupported by any facet of the series.…

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Uncut Gems Review: Capitalism Gets a Colonoscopy

Insofar as they tend to involve him yelling at someone in what may or may not be a questionable accent, most Adam Sandler movies are loud. But they’re not loud like Uncut Gems. Everyone in the film is talking over one another, just wall-to-wall shouting and arguing and haggling, often…

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Uncut Gems

REVIEWS

You Love to See It Episode 6: Snowpiercer

Just in time for the cold winds of winter, Danielle, merritt, and Steven joined by the toasty fire of… our mics and talked about Snowpiercer, South Korean director Bong Joon-ho’s atmospheric, over-the-top sci-fi masterpiece. Everyone enjoyed the production design, cinematography, and most of the performances, while asking the key questions,…

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snowpiercer

PODCASTS

Disney Movies are Outgrowing Kingdom Hearts’ View of Good and Evil

I can’t imagine how difficult it must be for the higher ups at Square-Enix to work with Disney and its multi-billion dollar IP for the Kingdom Hearts series, but as I left the theater after seeing Frozen II and pondered how that story might play out in the Disney/Final Fantasy…

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4 Other Times Besides “Cats” Movies Got Patched, For Better Or Worse

We’re sorry, Cats fam. Everyone know Cats was going to be messy. When I speak of the prediction of how Cats was going to turn out, I mean messy like a gay bar after your local Pride. Flamboyant, entertaining where you find it, campy where there’s effort made, and absolutely not for…

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LISTS

The Rise of Skywalker: The Felker-Martin Review

This review contains extensive spoilers for The Rise of Skywalker. At the end of 1983’s Return of the Jedi, Luke and Anakin Skywalker kill Emperor Palpatine, restore the Jedi Order, and liberate the galaxy from the Empire’s oppression. The entire purpose of Disney’s new trilogy appears to have been to walk…

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REVIEWS

The Rise of Skywalker Review: The Star Wars Re-Release of Star Wars Movies

Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker is the final chapter in the third trilogy of Star Wars films. Director J.J. Abrams kicked off this recent cycle with The Force Awakens, before the reins were passed to Rian Johnson for The Last Jedi. After kicking Colin Trevorrow (Jurassic World) from the…

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Rise of Skywalker Review 1

REVIEWS

Knives Out Review: Family Splatters

Rian Johnson’s Knives Out may lack the ingenious plotting and tightly-contained nature of murder mystery author Agatha Christie’s best stories, but as homage it does sturdy, entertaining work. Soft-spoken Cajun detective Benoit Blanc (Daniel Craig) stands for Christie’s dandyish Hercule Poirot, investigating the death of mystery author Harlan Thrombey (Christopher…

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Knives Out

REVIEWS

‘My Dad Is A Heel Wrestler’ Made Me Cry For Real

At first, I really wasn’t sure what someone who isn’t already a wrestling fan would get out of the 2018 family comedy My Dad Is A Heel Wrestler (or Papa wa Warumono Champion). But I am already a wrestling fan, and I pretty much immediately thought it was the cutest…

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WRESTLING

Danielle’s Top 10 Franchise Movies of the Decade

Whether one Martin Scorsese, director of a very good movie (Bringing Out the Dead) would agree, it is possible for a movie to be popcorn-crunching populist pulp and a great film. That’s a joke. I’m joking. And honestly, that discussion will never die on Twitter because there are actually some…

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logan movie

FEATURES

Danielle’s Top 10 Movies of the Decade (That Aren’t Franchises)

I’m not going to lie. This list was originally called “Danielle’s top 10 movies of the decade that are not Mad Max: Fury Road.” As much as I really love Fury Road, every nerd’s top 10 list already has that movie on it, and I just want to write about…

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advantageous film

FEATURES

‘The Lighthouse’ Review: Casting Its Beam on Empty Places

“What?” Robert Pattinson’s listless Ephraim Winslow asks Willem Dafoe’s weather-beaten Tom Wake, his tone weary. “What?” Wake grunts in kind. The two men repeat the question with mounting frustration until they’re shouting over one another, faces inches apart, veins pulsing in their necks and at their temples. Like much of…

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REVIEWS

Annabelle, the Awful Haunted Doll, is the Queer Horror Icon 2019 Deserves

They’re creepy and they’re kooky, mysterious and spooky… It’s another FangByte article! Welcome to our autumnal crop of Halloween themed Fanbyte fun (that we like to call FangByte). Each day on the week of Halloween, we’ll have more pieces dealing with creepy, crawly topics across games and other pop culture.…

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Annabelle face

FEATURES

‘Parasite’ Review: A Parasite for Sore Eyes

“That’s your plan?” Kim family patriarch Ki-taek asks a man who desires nothing from life but to live unseen in a bunker under the earth. Tough talk for a guy whose entire family pulled an intricate grift on the filthy rich Park household with the nefarious goal of… being the…

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REVIEWS

Joker Review: When Just Looking the Part Isn’t Good Enough

In the 2011 film Limitless, Bradley Cooper played a normal schmo who stumbled upon a secret government brain-pill that made him smart. This was not meant to be a dunk on Bradley Cooper, the person, but in summary it certainly sounds that way. Bradley Cooper’s character proceeded to have an adventure…

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REVIEWS

Rambo: Last Blood Review: The Long, Bloody Story Comes to an End

Rambo: Last Blood has exactly two things going for it. The first is Sylvester Stallone’s face, a hacked and battered hunk of driftwood with mournful hound dog eyes and a twisted gash of a mouth. The second is that it’s just under an hour and a half long. Beyond that,…

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REVIEWS

It’s All Bloat Down Here: IT Chapter 2 Drags Itself Across the Finish Line

There’s exactly one good scene in the second part of Andrés Muschietti’s sprawling adaptation of Stephen King’s even more sprawling horror novel IT. A firefly leads a young girl with a prominent winestain birthmark on her cheek under the bleachers at a baseball game. The titular creature (Bill Skarsgård) awaits…

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REVIEWS

The Banana Splits Movie is Definitely Not Five Nights at Freddy’s

Sometimes in life, you encounter something at once deeply improbable and unsettlingly real, something that raises profound questions about the nature of the world. The alien deep-sea life of the Mariana Trench. That one parasite that turns snails into caterpillar disco zombies. A splatter film using the fully licensed likenesses…

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