When I posted yesterday that sex is just like Dark Souls, I didn’t mean it literally resembled a FromSoftware game in any respect. It was more about how we talk about certain games as though everyone has played them, or if you haven’t, then you should want to.
That said, a setup like #SexIsLikeDarkSouls was too good not to get trending on Twitter. And we did! So here it is, the best tweets on why sex is totally just like Dark Souls.
#SexIsLikeDarkSouls I spend hours trying the same pattern over and over and my partner stopped paying attention after the first 10 minutes.
— BooDoo (@BooDooPerson) April 12, 2016
#SexIsLikeDarkSouls Once you’re become well-versed in advanced techniques, you start experimenting with fun restraints.
— Alex Zandra (@havochq) April 12, 2016
#SexIsLikeDarkSouls I don’t like facing the Ceaseless Discharge
— JoJo (@JolanJoestar) April 12, 2016
I’m constantly terrified and don’t know where I am or what I’m doing
— BB8 BONFIRE (@jvdgoot) April 12, 2016
#SexIsLikeDarkSouls watching people do it online gives me unrealstic expectations
— _OUTOFPOSITION_ (@_SLABS_) April 12, 2016
#sexislikedarksouls Everyone says you need a co-op partner to enjoy it, but I refuse to listen and am just fine on my own, thanks.
— Nidoking (@IAmNidoking) April 12, 2016
#SexIsLikeDarkSouls I watch people do it on the internet, it looks terrifying and I don’t think my heart can take it
— leroy. (@KingOfMars) April 12, 2016
#SexIsLikeDarkSouls Dual wielding requires both sufficient strength AND dexterity.
— BooDoo (@BooDooPerson) April 12, 2016
#sexislikeDarkSouls no matter how good you think you are, there will be someone online who makes you look awful AND gets paid doing it
— Aaron Cat-tan? Oh! (@Cdr_Erwiwatobin) April 12, 2016
#SexIsLikeDarkSouls I realized early on that having a +10 club still might not be enough to get the job done.
— Isaiah T. Taylor (@Bboy_Izilla) April 12, 2016
#SexIsLikeDarkSouls I keep trying to convince everyone that whips are a viable option.
— Heather Alexandra (@transgamerthink) April 12, 2016
Many thanks to all the writers who agreed to let me feature their tweets!
If you’re up for more Dark Souls japes, be sure to check out our professionally-done, definitely-not-a-setup-for-a-Chuck-Tingle-novel compilation video of the ultimate form of betrayal that Dark Souls III has to offer.
Kris Ligman is the News Editor for ZAM, a very serious and extremely classy game news and reviews site. If you know a good reason why #SexIsLikeDarkSouls, be sure to share it with Kris on Twitter @KrisLigman!
