The Final Fantasy XIV localization team is known for being one of the most impressive localization teams in the games industry. Among the reasons why the localization team is so beloved among fans is its knack for hilarious jokes and witty pop culture references. And, with this week’s release of Patch 5.3, the team is once again in the spotlight for its work.
The team’s injection of humor is typically found in item descriptions and quest titles. In new item descriptions from Patch 5.3, there are already multiple gems that the community has found.
Take the description for the Rarefied Applewood Staff, for one. “She had that applewood staff and the robes with the fur (with the fur!). The whole collector’s club will be looking at her.” It’s an extremely cute and clever play on the lyrics of the iconic “Low” by Flo Rida and T-Pain. The song starts with the lines, “Shawty had them Apple Bottom Jeans (jeans) / Boots with the fur (with the fur) / The whole club was lookin’ at her.”
ok 5.3 wasnt real i know it now pic.twitter.com/yYqcvt2v3N
— catpa (@daddyvanbaelsar) August 13, 2020
Twitter user daddyvanbaelsar (shout outs to a real one for that username, by the way) posted a couple of follow-up tweets with more examples of the localization team just being brilliantly unhinged with their humor.
please look at the localization team’s efforts pic.twitter.com/EiNOQ6rkri
— catpa (@daddyvanbaelsar) August 13, 2020
My personal favorites are the item descriptions for the Rarefied Durium Rod and Rarefied Holy Rainbow Hat. I see the item description for the rod, which says: “Ornate. Gothic. Black. Purple. Gold. For when you really need a rod that screams ‘black mage,'” as a personal attack since I started as a black mage. The item description for the hat, which says, “For when you need to gather in the afternoon, and compliment m’lady at dusk” because it’s basically a fedora, is just cursed.
The item description for the Rarefied Manasilver Ear Cuffs, included in another follow-up tweet, also speaks to every FFXIV player who knows that you can’t fight crime unless you look cute. Stats are temporary, but pretty fashion is forever.
Another humorous example is the item description for one of the new minions in the patch. One of the most well-known parts of Shadowbringers‘ story is the section where you meet the dwarves of The First in the village of Tomra. Upon reaching Tomra with the Crystal Exarch, a member of the village greets you with “Lali-ho!” — the word of greeting used by many dwarves throughout the Final Fantasy series. In the process, you learn the emote for “Lali-ho,” which is why you’ll see a lot of players use it as a form of greeting when you go into a trial, dungeon, or raid.
So, when my friend sent me this screenshot on Discord, I couldn’t help but shake my head in amusement.
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These instances are making many fans reminisce about other famous past examples. One of them is the description for the Brick Garden Circle outdoor furnishing item, which simply says, “All these squares make a circle.” There’s also the description for the Sack of Gil you get from the Medieval Espionage quest, which says, “If you had a sack of gil for every time someone entrusted you with a sack of gil, you would need a bigger sack.” Or the one you get from the Honorable Heroes quest, which states, “Not all problems can be solved with a fistful of gil. For the rest, one must needs resort to a sack.” Or the descriptions for the Midgardsormr minion (“Not the big one. The little one”) and the mount (“Summon forth Midgardsormr, the slightly bigger one, but still not the big one”).
The quest titles in the game are often a lot of fun, too. There are incredible quest titles like “Notorious Biggs,” “Quake Me Up Before you O’Ghomoro,” “Ifrit Bleeds, We Can Kill It,” “Every Little Thing She Does is Magitek,” “Big Trouble in Little Ala Mhigo,” and so many more.
Final Fantasy XIV‘s English localization team is headed by Michael-Christopher Koji Fox, who you can hear from in the insightful No Clip documentary centered on the game.