Overwatch Heroes Have Googly Eyes Now and I Never Want to Play Overwatch Again

Can't have much in your sights with those in the way, huh Soldier: 76?

For what I assume is an early April Fool’s joke, All 32 playable heroes in Overwatch are now outfitted with googly eyes and I just can’t deal with it.

I first heard about this after seeing screenshots of the game’s main menu on Twitter, which is currently occupied by damage hero Doomfist as he shows off his limited-time skin, showing the Overwatch baddy wearing googly eyes. At first I thought this was just a one-off gag, putting the silly, realistically moving googly eyes on the character who everyone sees when they boot up the game. But once I turned on the game, I found these damn googly eyes are on every character. And it’s not just in the main menu, these eyes are attached to the faces of every hero before, during, and after a match.

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Here’s me as Soldier: 76 rocking some craft supplies on my tactical visor. Do they affect my aim? Nope. It’s just as bad as it ever was. But they are doing some serious damage to Soldier’s angsty vigilante aesthetic. How does one strike fear into the hearts of his enemies when he looks like such a doofus?

Now I have to decide if I want to play Overwatch while these googly eyes are glued to the faces of all the characters. Any Play of the Games I might manage while they’re here means that the highlight intro will feature these lifeless, but somehow still moving eyes on the face of whatever hero I’m playing. Do I want my saved clips to feature such horror?

You know what? Yeah, I kind of do. What better insult to place upon the opposing team than to make them see these googly eyes taunting them as they watch you mow them over with a well-timed ultimate ability? “I’ve got you in my sights,” they hear Soldier: 76 say. But in reality, he can’t see past the googly eyes, so he doesn’t have much in his sights beyond plastic.

At any rate, this a pretty inoffensive and honestly funny April Fool’s joke, even if it’s a day early. Tomorrow, however, we’re probably going to see some more elaborate hoaxes, and let me tell you, as a news writer, April Fool’s Day is a bunch of malarkey, and I’ve gotta triple check everything before I so much as put my fingers on a keyboard.

Unfortunately for console players, we won’t be able to see these googly eyes on Echo, the newest hero added to the game, as she’s only available on the PC’s Public Test Realm right now. Unless Blizzard decides to add her between now and the end of tomorrow, when these eyes will presumably be removed. But that doesn’t sound likely. I bet her ultimate ability, which lets her change into anyone else in the game, will probably maintain the googly eyes to really sell the transformation.

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Kenneth Shepard

Kenneth is a Georgia-based writer who still periodically cries about the Mass Effect trilogy years after it concluded.

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