I Choose To Believe Everything Sakurai Says is Confirmation of Waluigi

Manifesting for 2020 to be the year of Waluigi

Smash Bros. Twitter is aflutter once again after Sakurai sent a fairly cryptic tweet that solely boasts two pictures of clocks. One reads 12:15 and the other reads 10:30, but that’s literally the only info we have. Now, you know that that means: Stop, Waluigi time.

Now there may be some nonbelievers out there who say Waluigi will never be in Smash as a way for Sakurai to maintain some tenuous control over the franchise and his life, I say fuck that. 2020 has been a year of staring directly into the void and demanding it come at you, and I can’t imagine Sakurai is feeling any differently. It’s time to troll harder than ever before.

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Now that nerds have been big time pissed off at the inclusion of Minecraft Steve, Sakurai is at his most powerful, which means now is the time to drop a truly wild announcement. What’s more, no one is going to believe this is actually what’s happening because it hasn’t yet and much more unlikely characters have gotten a shot first. But that’s what makes this perfect. If Sakurai successfully announces Waluigi as the next Smash character with nothing but pictures of a clock, he will have succeeded in owning his fans in a brand new way. 

After everything he’s been through, I think it ‘s finally time for Sakurai to get his wish and have it so players truly can never ask him for anything ever again, and the only way to make that happen is to free Waluigi and force the Smash community to reap what they sow. I’m personally living for the idea of Sakurai carefully planning this reveal, muttering “you fuckers want Waluigi? I’ll show you Waluigi.”

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Ty Galiz-Rowe

Ty is your friendly neighborhood Certified Monster Fucker and unapologetic thembo. Catch them wondering why they still live in Colorado despite having zero hiking pics on their tinder profile.

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