Gaze Upon This Already-Sold-Out Metapod Sleeping Bag and Despair

Who among us wouldn't like to sleep in a cocoon forever?

In the original Pokemon anime, Ash Ketchum’s Caterpie looks up at the moon with Pikachu and they discuss their dreams. Caterpie, gazing upon the bright rock in the sky has a vision of himself as a beautiful Butterfree flying above the Kanto skies without a care in the world. Dear reader, I, too, have had such a dream of being a beautiful Butterfree and leaving behind the worries of man. But I can only do that if I can encase myself inside a Metapod to undergo the evolution stage, and how the hell am I supposed to do that when this human-sized Metapod suit was already sold out by the time I woke up this morning?

Premium Bandai is releasing the 35,000 yen (roughly $333 USD) sleeping bag in April of next year, and with it you can be just like a Caterpie evolving into Metapod so it doesn’t actually have to do anything other than sleep until it becomes a Butterfree. When viewed at certain angles, it kind of just looks like a big plushie and it’s actually difficult to even tell someone is inside the cocoon Pokemon. So if you’re trying to hide from your responsibilities at home, at the office (in a time where we’re not all working from home during a pandemic), or just trying to exist without being perceived, careful placement of your Metapod sleeping bag will help you take up space without being detected.

But the first wave of the thing has officially gone out of stock. Doesn’t mean your chance to be a Metapod and withdraw from the world, safely quarantined in your living cocoon, but it does mean your odds of getting one in April are out the window until Premium Bandai restocks.

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If you need some other Pokemon-related distraction that, while not as all encompassing as a Metapod sleeping bag, is still pretty good, Pokemon Sword and Shield’s second DLC expansion called “The Crown Tundra” launched at the end of last month. The new area contains some memorable new characters like Peony, as well as interesting legendaries like Calyrex and two new Regis. You’ll also run into Galarian regional variants of the original Legendary Birds Moltres, Zapdos, and Articuno. In addition to all the new Pokemon, there’s also an added area called the Max Lair where you can go through Dynamax Adventures, which let you face Legendary Pokemon from all the previous games in one convenient location. It’s definitely convenient for anyone looking to catch them all, even if its in-universe ramifications are a little disappointing. There are a few exceptions, however, as mythical Pokemon like Mew, Arceus, and Victini are omitted from the Dynamax Adventures. Which at least helps them keep some of the mystique their backstories have given them over the past games.

For more on that, check out our guide on how to help Sonia track down some Legendary Pokemon in “The Crown Tundra.”