There’s a Strong Chance I’ve Bought this Garrus Vakarian Statue By Day’s End

No Shepard without Vakarian.

In about three months, I’m expecting a big N7 helmet to come with my Mass Effect: Legendary Edition collector’s package (that doesn’t include the remastered trilogy with the steelbook case), which will take up most of the shelf space I have left in my home. But, I can’t lie. I’ve been eyeing this new statue of Mass Effect party member Garrus Vakarian that Bioware is selling at its online store. And with each passing second I fear my indecision will leave me without my Turian brother to sit on my shelf.

The six-inch tall figure has the suave Turian sniper in his Mass Effect 2 armor before he got shot down by a gunship in the game’s early hours. No scars or broken armor to speak of here. So this is Garrus at his most pristine. Well, other than the psychic trauma that comes with losing your entire squad to a traitor, am I right?

Honestly, king looks good. Despite being my favorite video game franchise, I don’t actually own any kind of figure or statue from the series. My favorite party member in the series is Kaidan Alenko, and despite some dedicated art and apparel over the years, I don’t think he’s going to be getting a figure any time soon. So perhaps after nearly 14 years of the series existing and various merchandise coming out, it’s time for me to bite the bullet and get a statue of one of my faves.

But I have limited shelf space. That N7 helmet alone is going to fill up what little surface area is left on my dedicated Mass Effect shelf. And really, is Garrus the character I want to finally have represent the series in my big wall of nerdy shit? I’ve passed up on characters I like more. Like Tali’Zorah vas Normandy or Mordin Solus. Plus, Garrus is actually a character I have some pretty big qualms with. Like how his Mass Effect 2 storyline is an incredibly redundant retreading of his story in in the first game, and how is romantic route is, without question, the worst written one in Mass Effect 2. It is a poster child of the first two games treating sex and love like a trophy, as Garrus and Shepard’s dialogue is exclusively about doing the deed and not about their feelings for one another.

However, he’s one of the best characters in Mass Effect 3. Shooting bottles on the Citadel with him is a series top ten moment, and his “meet me at the bar” dialogue on Earth is a top five moment. And really, no one else in the Mass Effect series better exemplifies loyalty and brotherhood than Mr. Vakarian.

Oh, god. There’s only 3000 of these being made. I have to decide now. He’s relatively cheap at $95.

Fuck it. No Shepard without Vakarian.

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Mass Effect: Legendary Edition is bringing all three of the original Mass Effect games to PC, PlayStation 4, and Xbox One with quality of life changes and some updated visuals for the original game especially. However, Bioware isn’t using this an opportunity to make good on some of the series’ past failings, like lack of inclusivity. The collection will bring the trilogy to a new audience that might not have played the games before the launch of the next installment. Bioware teased the game at last year’s Game Awards, revealing trilogy mainstay Liara T’Soni will play some kind of role. But it’s really unclear at this time what the game will actually entail.

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Kenneth Shepard

Kenneth is a Staff Writer at Fanbyte. He still periodically cries about the Mass Effect trilogy years after it concluded.

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