Check on Your Gays, There’s Mass Effect Remaster News

It looks like we might be one step closer to a Mass Effect: Legendary Edition confirmation.

If you haven’t already, go ahead and check in on the ladies, theydies and gaydies in your group chat to make sure they’re alright; we’ve got Mass Effect remaster news hot off the presses. Kind of. 

The Game Rating and Administration Committee of Korea has rated the currently-only-a-rumor Mass Effect: Legendary Edition, AKA the highly anticipated Mass Effect remaster collection. This adds credence to the rumors that this collection exists at all. According to VentureBeat, EA has yet to announce the collection because it had to be delayed from October 2020 to some time in early 2021. Apparently the original game isn’t quite up to snuff, and that’s holding the whole package back. 

Mounting evidence of the remaster collection’s existence means your queer Bioware fan friends are probably choking on the crumbs of hope EA may have inadvertently dropped. If one of your friends is a Mass Effect gay who’s currently freaking, perform the heimleich and then follow these steps to ensure their safety and relative wellbeing.

  1. Message/call them to ensure they’re still breathing and are stretching in between stints of looking longingly out their window, wondering when their space wife/husband will return from war.
  2. Put them in the recovery position with their Garrus body pillow. Remember: as much as they may protest, they have to be the big spoon for this to work properly.
  3. Send them links to their favorite fanart and fanfiction to keep them distracted with what could have been instead of the bleak reality of Andromeda. 
  4. Remind them that no matter how much they love Mordin Solis, he was, in fact, a war criminal and attempted genocide-doer.
  5. Make sure they’ve asked Kelly to feed their fish on the Normandy while they replay through the entire series in a week because they’ve once again lost control of their lives.

Ty Galiz-Rowe

Ty is your friendly neighborhood Certified Monster Fucker and unapologetic thembo. Catch them wondering why they still live in Colorado despite having zero hiking pics on their tinder profile.

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