The Cricket in My Living Room, a Review

In the last month or so, a cricket has moved in with me. After spending a solid amount of time with him, I thought the experience was worth reviewing.

This male cricket lives in my living room, I think. I guess he could be in a kitchen cabinet like right next to the living room. It’s not like there’s doors between rooms or anything. He could also potentially be on the balcony outside but really, really loud. I love this cricket, but deducted some points because I have some cricket-related concerns.

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The Cricket in My Living Room

8.5

Mostly very, very good.

PROS
  • When it's night time, he always lets me know he's there by providing a constant, pleasant chirping sound.
  • Doesn't eat any of my food.
  • Apparently crickets can eat other bugs, so that would be cool. I don't like most bugs.
  • It's just nice to have company when I'm chilling on the couch reading my phone at night.
  • He stays up SUPER late just like I do!
  • Crickets are one of the only kinds of bugs that don't do any scary stuff or look gross.
  • Crickets are LITERALLY just vibing.
  • One could even argue that the cricket is singing to me, which is really nice.
  • Since the chirping is constant, it never startles me.
  • I have never seen this cricket, not once. He has excellent boundaries and respects my space.
  • It's the pandemic time so I have not seen a friend in SO LONG, and my partner goes to bed early.
  • It's literally just so chill to hang out with someone again, and me and the cricket just do our own things.
  • I love him.
CONS
  • The constant night time chirping might not be for everyone, even though I like it.
  • I'm not sure what he's eating to survive, and that worries me.
  • I also worry that there's more than one cricket and they might be breeding, and then I'll have too many crickets.
  • I don't want a cricket infestation, but I really like having just the one cricket.
  • Also apparently crickets eat fabric, and I don't want my couch to get chewed up. This hasn't happened, but I'm anxious about it.
  • My cricket anxieties make me wonder if I'm believing Big Pest Control though in their anti-cricket agenda.
  • Am I a bad person?
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lb hunktears

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