Only two things are certain in this world: death and patches. Since the early days of PC gaming, developers haved used patches as a means to fix bugs that became apparent after release. But now, regular updates are a fact of life across all platforms, as companies devote immense amounts of time and money to continually tweaking multiplayer games in response to changing metagames and newly-discovered exploits.
Today we honor patches. Specifically, we honor the patches that bear the version number 3.14. Why? Look at your calendars, children — Pi Day is here again. It seems like only yesterday that we sang songs of Archimedes and held the Feast of Gregory-Leibniz. And yet time marches on… much like patches. Without further ado, your Top 5 Version 3.14 Patches for Pi Day.
“This week’s balance updates are targeted at revaluing most attacks that reverse player’s relative positions. The value of positional advantage has proven to be increasingly effective, so most of these attacks have received adjustments to their other rewards on hit. They remain useful options for building damage and turning the flow of battle in your favor, but are now less effective at securing knockouts by themselves. For kits that had a greater emphasis on these attacks, power has been shifted to other areas.” (Feb 21, 2018)
When a developer finds that a particular strategy is disproportionately popular, it must consider whether that strategy is unbalancing the game — making it uninteresting or crowding out other forms of play. If they decide in the affirmative, they take action, as did the developers of Brawlhalla on February 21st, 2018. Finding the value of positional advantage to be increasingly effective, they said “no more!” and reduced the knockback potential of such attacks. And so it goes: the eternal dance between player and developer.
2. League of Legends
“Your skin selection will now lock in place a few moments before you enter the loading screen! Previously, you could still flick through your skins up to the last second, only to be met with a friendly “Error: Null” message if you attempted to select a different skin.” (November 25, 2013)
Is there such a thing as a “friendly Error: Null” message? Can an error be your friend? Can you make peace with the concept of nothingness? Riot Games says no, you cannot. Begone, error message, false friend. Our skins are locked in. We are loading. The die is cast.
“Pool Party Wei Jing” (August 2, 2016)
I’m honestly a little shocked that the game didn’t launch with this feature.
4. Path of Exile
“Fixed a bug where some Merciless Labyrinth enchantments for Bodyswap and Cremation were being granted by the Divine Font in the Eternal Labyrinth.” (Feb 15, 2018)
Merciless Labyrinth by Hunter Fox
enchantments for body
swap and Cremation were being
granted by the Divine
in the Eternal
5. Starcraft II: Legacy of the Void
“Fixed an issue in which creating too many Diamondbacks would prevent additional slime trails from appear as well as enemy units.” (May 22, 2017)
Listen, pal. Your problem here is that you got too many Diamondbacks. You see how many of these things there are out here? It’s nuts. Never seen so many in my life. And all these Diamondbacks? They’re preventing additional slime trails from appearing — not to mention enemy units. Is that what you wanted? No slime? Because let me tell you, the city comes down here and sees you got no slime, you’re gonna have bigger things to worry about than not having enough Diamondbacks.
Can I fix it? Sure I can. But I’m gonna need more minerals.