The PlayStation 5 Will Not Be Big Enough Until it Towers Over These Things

Okay, so you're the biggest console ever? That don't impress me much.

The PlayStation 5’s size has been a major talking point since reviewers and influencers have been getting the thing in their homes. At around 15-inches tall, 10-inches deep, and 4-inches wide, Sony’s latest console is officially the biggest of its kind to ever hit the market. But according to Yujin Morisawa, the designer behind the final look of the PS5, it was originally going to be even bigger than the system that will be in people’s homes this coming Thursday.

In an interview with Launcher, Morisawa explained that the original designs for what would eventually become Sony’s fifth console were going to be even bigger than the gargantuan monstrosity we have now.

“When I started drawing, it was much larger even though I didn’t know what engineering was going to do,” Morisawa said. “It’s kind of funny that engineering actually told me it’s too big. So, I actually had to shrink it down a little bit from the first drawing.”

According to Sony, the reason for the PlayStation 5’s size is because all the parts that are inside it help with some quality of life issues like easier cleaning and also just making sure the thing is more quiet than its predecessor. My launch PlayStation 4 has gotten quite noisy as years have gone by, especially when I was playing The Last of Us Part II and Marvel’s Avengers, so that’s definitely a welcome change.

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But the knowledge that, in some alternate universe, there is a PlayStation 5 that is longer and wider than the chunky boy we’ve got here has me immediately wondering just how much bigger can Sony’s latest video game box get? Just where does a PlayStation 5 have to cap off at to be what Sony and the public deem “big enough?” What is the most socially acceptable size for a console that can deliver you 4K gaming and ray tracing and whatever else it is that people pretend to care about beyond whether or not it plays video games? And is there a universe where someone at Sony has the gall to look at the behemoth of a device and, with all the conviction of a host playing a Mario Party mini-game, look directly in the eyes of the company’s engineers and say “bigger.”

These are the things the PlayStation 5 has to be bigger than for me to concede that it is “big enough”:

The Statue of Liberty

A Reaper from the Mass Effect series

The collective $1.56 trillion that makes up the United States of America’s student loan debt

Godzilla

The weight of my depression I carry on my shoulders every day

Gigantamax Centiskorch

A blue whale

So Sony, I hope that when you’re making either the PlayStation 5’s inevitable mid-generation upgrade or even when you’re considering possible designs for the PlayStation 6, that you’ll refer back to this blog and know that if some coward in a suit tells you that the console is too big, it can absolutely, 100%, be bigger.

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Kenneth Shepard

Kenneth is a Georgia-based writer who still periodically cries about the Mass Effect trilogy years after it concluded.

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