Hunktears: Becky Lynch vs Sasha Banks in Hell in a Cell
We like to have fun here and mess around, but you know what’s even more fun than messing around? Two women on a massive stage beating the shit out of each other in a cage that is painted red. Yes, Mer already covered it in her review of Hell in a Cell, but this match was so good I have to honor it a second time.
I mean, if I hadn’t discovered women beating the shit out of each other in cages, I probably would have left wrestling in the discarded interests pile along with boy bands, embroidery, and millinery (that’s making hats for all you plebes out there). Becky Lynch and Sasha Banks laid into each other hard, each delivering her finest performance in a long time. It’s easy to talk shit about WWE and say their product is bad, but when the tremendously talented people who work there get a chance to shine, it really is something to behold. Banks/Lynch in the cell is up there with Kingston/Bryan and Gable/Gallagher as one of my favorite WWE matches of the year.
Mer: Roderick “;)” Strong
A lot of fantastic things have happened in wrestling recently, but only one thing has been burned into my brain so deeply I truly am unable to move on from it. During this week’s NXT, Velveteen Dream made a joke about the size of Roderick Strong’s manhood under that North American belt. Roddy was understandably incensed, as was his wife, fellow NXT wrestler Marina Shafir, who fired off a quick tweet in response to Dream’s accusation. She shared a photo of her and Roddy kissing at Disneyland on their honeymoon, where Marina is in a wheelchair, and stated the photo was taken after right their wedding. Homegirl was wheelchair bound as a result of their wedding night. And now we all know what part of Roderick Strong isn’t shitty and little. That’s professional wrestling, babe!
Colette Arrand: The Aesthetic of NWA Powerrr
I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with all the R’s in “Powerrrrr” (do I roll them? let them stretch out infinitely into the horizon?), but Billy Corgan finally brought his vision of professional wrestling to fruition, and it’s something straight out of 1985. The “studio wrestling” conceit has its weaknesses (modern squash matches are a chore), but between the set dressing, the graphics, and the prodigious use of DOKKEN, I’m interested in seeing where this goes. If Tuesday nights mean Darby Allin wrestling CIMA on one show and a 53-year-old school teacher fighting for the oldest championship in the sport in the other, then I’m all in on wrestling’s weirdest night.