The PS5 sold out everywhere again. This is at least the second time that’s happened since it went on sale (or technically didn’t go on sale, as the case may be). I tried to get one. I will get one, eventually, but for now it’s impossible to find in stores. Literally. Sony set up a system where you can only order the consoles online. That’s even if you intend to pick it up physically (and avoid long shipping times).
This leads to hilarious (not really) situations where I call up a store, ask if they have it in stock, and they say yes, but I must order it online. I go to order it online. The website says it is out of stock. So even if a store — in this case Walmart — has machines, I’m not allowed to buy them, because online does not understand this.
Well, life goes on. I need to find something to whittle away the hours not spent playing Demon’s Souls, Astro’s Playroom, or Marvel’s Spider-Man’s Miles’s Morales. Here are some of the cool things I was able to do today instead of all that. Maybe you’ll enjoy them just as much as me!
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Looked Up Synonyms for Dirty Words
Writing short, queer porn featuring some favorite tropes is a cherished hobby of mine. It’s been a great way to flex my creative muscles without pressuring myself to produce The Next Great Sci-Fi Novel or whatever — instead focusing on just having fun and getting the words out. It’s also really stretched my vocabulary of dirty language to its absolute limits. There are only like three words for “penis” that don’t sound like euphemisms a gym teacher might call a banana during sex-ed. And I get sick of writing them over, and over, and over again. I swear like 75 percent of my time writing lately is spent on Thesaurus.com or Urban Dictionary trying to decide how the fuck to describe all this fucking. On the bright side, my extra time spent on AO3 has prepared me to write good tweets like this one.
Tried to Buy a PlayStation 5
Did you know that the PS5 is sold out? Again? Shit’s fucked up. I found out by refreshing Target, Best Buy, Costco, Sam’s Club, and GameStop links until 3 a.m. During that span I also wrote and edited a bunch of the aforementioned porn, keeping myself awake to fruitlessly hit F5 in the hopes a console would appear in one of my local stores. Alas it was not meant to be… I even drove out to Best Buy anyway just on the off-chance one of the worst COVID-19 centers in the world, my home state of North Dakota, was ignoring the online-only protocols designed to keep people safe and selling systems off the shelf. No dice.
Delayed My Cats’ Attempted Murder of Each Other & Me One More Day
Cats, while incredibly clever, have no appreciation for the deep sorrow of a magnificent beast doomed to a slow and possibly endless descent into ruin. My awful, awful boys will neither enjoy nor criticize the visual changes that went into the Demon’s Souls remake for PS5. Instead they will continue circling my feet even as I type this, begging for wet food. I tell them this isn’t dignified. I tell them they literally just ate like 20 minutes ago. They do not appreciate this, either. Instead they grab my arm and shriek and fire cat food breath into my face Godzilla venting radiation and Savory Salmon Pate. When this doesn’t work, they often tackle one another instead. They know I will need to stop and peel them off one another. No, they are not dignified. But these small, bad men are incredibly clever.
Thought About Throwing Coffee at a Lady Without a Mask
Like not enough people these days, I try to stay home whenever possible. When I do get groceries, however, I typically also grab coffee from the in-store café on the way out. The market I use has a mandatory mask and social distancing policy. For the first time today I saw someone break that policy. In line for coffee, the most Karen-ass middle-aged white woman I’ve ever seen and her husband breathed down my neck and those of the employees without much choice but to work there like… Well, like all the people that help make this quarantine never end. Like the baristas, I’ve watched my little brother deal with compassionless shitheads like this for most of a year. He teaches high school English at a nearby school which refuses to close — even as four more of its children were diagnosed with COVID-19 in the first half of this week alone. I was already in a pretty uncharitable mood, so I briefly thought about pouring my drink on Karen’s head. That was a fun way to kill 15 seconds.
Played Games on My PC
Some of the next-gen games I’m most curious about… have been available on PC for ages. No Man’s Sky, for instance, got some big updates recently. Except I recently discovered that, while it has cross-play, the game does not support cross-save. So my PC profile is still my main way to play. It’s a similar case with Warframe. I’m still waiting on the promised cross-save feature to one day let me switch between my PC profile and couch play. Even then, I’d probably rather try the free-to-play game on Switch. Meanwhile, Destiny got its Beyond Light expansion just in time for the new hardware… but its next-gen optimization doesn’t come until later this year. New hardware has me thinking about all three games again. Yet not a single one gives me good reason to jump ship from PC, or the option to meaningfully flip between the two.