Wherever you look, there is evidence that ours is not the best of all possible realities. Personal helicopters are still a far-off dream. Golf on the moon remains the pastime of an extremely select few. Daddy long-legs exist — the list goes on and on.
As a thought exercise, and perhaps, in an attempt to inspire change in the few capable of making it, we have put a microscope to a fertile niche of timeline-based injustices: Dragon Ball Z games that don’t exist, but should. We hope you’ll agree that our universe would be a better place if these games existed. And hey, if you know someone at Bandai Namco, maybe send ’em a link to this post. You could change the world.
Dragon Ball Z: Tenkaichi Racing
There’s a filler episode of Dragon Ball Z where Goku and Piccolo have to get their driver’s licenses, and it’s a shame that this beautiful premise hasn’t ever been expounded upon in video game form. Just imagine Goku, Vegeta, and the rest of the gang vying for pole position in a bunch of personalized, hyper-stylized go-karts designed by Capsule Corps.
In addition to useful Capsule Corps. capsules spread around the track, each character would also have access to their own unique ability from the show, similar to the All Star system in Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed. Maybe Yamcha’s cat friend Puar could be the little flying camera operator, ala Lakitu. Maybe Mr. Satan’s kart has a really obnoxious musical novelty horn. Can you collect all seven Dragon Balls hidden in every track?
Dragon Ball Z: Fusion Dancing All Night
Atlus has proven that non-dance oriented anime properties can be successfully adapted into perfectly good rhythm games, so a series like Dragon Ball Z — which prominently features dancing already — should be no problem.
Dragon Ball Z: Fusion Dancing All Night would allow players to select two characters from the show, fuse them, and then play a Hatsune Miku-esque rhythm game with the resulting fusion. Watch out though, missing too many notes will cause the fusion to fail, along with the song!
Players will earn currency for completing songs, which can be spent on unlocking costumes, new fusions, and gifts to give your favorite characters in the all-new Dragon Ball Dormitory. Decorate their rooms, and raise your relationship level with each character by playing fun mini games. Is this just a Project Diva game but with Dragon Ball characters? Yes it is! Make it happen, Ban-co!
Dragon Ball Z: Great Beerus Bake-Off
The very fate of the Earth is at stake, and only you — an elite chef working in Bulma’s five-star kitchen — can save the world from the God of Destruction!
I envision DBZ: GBBO as a sort of halfway point between Cooking Mama and Overcooked!, where the player is dashing back and forth between food prep stations, rapidly completing WarioWare-esque micro games in an effort to appease the unending appetites of Beerus and his angelic companion Whis.
Multiplayer modes are a must, of course, with Beerus and Whis playing the roles of judge and, in Beerus’ case at least, executioner. At the end of every multi-course meal, players receive a score based on the accuracy of their dishes and how rapidly they were prepared, and the team with the lowest score is erased from Universe 7.
Dragon Ball Z: Satan City Stories
No, Krillin’s name doesn’t appear in the title of the game he stars in, but isn’t that really the most Krillin way things could shake out?
Dragon Ball Z: Satan City Stories would focus on the period of time between the Z Fighter’s initial confrontation with Beerus, and the eventual resurrection of Frieza, during which Krillin became a police officer in Satan City.
In this noir visual novel, Krillin must fight to bring down a cabal of dirty cops within the Satan City Police Department. Who really pulls the strings in Satan City’s seedy underbelly, and can said strings be cut by a Destructo Disc? Can Krillin uncover the true identity of ruthless crime lord “Disco Dominati,” and rescue his daughter Marron? Find out in each thrilling chapter of Dragon Ball Z: Satan City Stories.
Dragon Ball Z: Kai-sama no Atarashii Ie
Uh oh! Goku has once again destroyed King Kai’s peaceful little planet, and this time he ain’t off the hook so easily! Goku must rebuild King Kai’s house from the ground up, taking the North Kai’s personal tastes and preferences into account.
Gregory and Bubbles are here to help guide Goku along the way, acting as architectural consultants (“Remember, King Kai likes simple shapes!” — Gregory) and decorating experts (“Oooh hoo! Ohho ho oh oh ohh hoo!!” — Bubbles). Kaio-ken you design a house fit for a king?
If you have an idea for a Dragon Ball Z game that doesn’t exist (but should), let us know in the comments below.