Game of Thrones is over. Long live Game of Thrones! I guess. I never watched it. But! I know a lot of people who watched all of it, and who now have a throne-shaped void in their Sundays. As The Shawshank Redemption taught us, knowing what to do with yourself after you get out of prison can mean the difference between life and death, so I’ve taken it upon myself to build this list of Sunday activities that can replace someone’s Game of Thrones habit, now that so many are free from its flaming, icy grasp.
There’s an obvious joke here about “go to church,” but I’ve omitted such activities from the list because how you boogie your way to the afterlife ain’t any of my business. Likewise, I’ve left out other Thrones-based options like the books or games, since the whole point here is to help you rebuild your life. And lastly, if none of these options work for you, that’s okay. Everybody heals differently, and just because nothing on this list feels right, it doesn’t mean there isn’t some other solution out there for you. Just stay strong, okay? We’re all gonna get through this as a family.
Start Watching The Curse of Oak Island
Okay so, I get that this is a pretty dramatic tonal shift from Game of Thrones, but I think that’s exactly what y’all need right now. For those unfamiliar, The Curse of Oak Island is a reality series about two brothers (and about two dozen contractors) trying to uncover the root of the Oak Island mystery, while also hopefully finding ancient Knights Templar/pirate treasure along the way. Unlike a lot goofy reality series that trade primarily on hearsay and fabrication, The Curse of Oak Island has a considerable amount of verified history backing it up. And while a lot of the show’s entertainment factor comes from watching a bunch of goofy dads screw around with millions of dollars at their disposal, they also make some honest-to-goodness discoveries about the island’s history. The show also has the same narrator as Ancient Aliens, and I’d listen to that guy read a phone book.
Find Inner Peace and Tranquility
You could also opt for a new Sunday activity that doesn’t involve popular media consumption and take up meditation. There’s a ton of free resources on this big ol’ internet for learning how to properly meditate — I’m a fan of Headspace, which is a free app on iOS and Android that teaches good meditation habits and includes a ton of bite-sized guided sessions. You’d be amazed at what a difference five minutes can make, especially when taking the spot of a show about incest murder in your weekly schedule.
Or Don’t, and Watch Twin Peaks
Twin Peaks is, like, inverted meditation. Instead of leaving you clear-minded and feeling rejuvenated, Twin Peaks puts a sack over your head that says “PLOT” on it, and then beats you with two giant fish marked “EXISTENTIALISM” and “SURREALISM,” respectively. It’s a deeply introspective mind palace that wraps around itself dozens of times; a confusing, bizarrely hilarious, and at times deeply disturbing paranormal murder mystery that features some of the best characters ever put on television. I’d give you a rundown of the plot, but honestly the less information you go into Twin Peaks with, the better. Don’t read the Wikipedia article for it, don’t read any episode summaries, just get in there and experience this thing. There’s never been another show on television like it, and I know how hyperbolic that sounds, but trust me, it’s true.
I do feel an obligation to warn you, however, that the second half of season two is pretty hugely bad. After a Big Thing™ happens (you’ll know it when you get there), the show struggles to find its footing and spends several episodes on side plots that are neither interesting, nor relevant to the larger machinations already in motion. I promise you though, powering through this drought is worth totally it, not only for the spectacular season two finale, but for the context you’ll have going into the Twin Peaks feature film, Fire Walk with Me. Then, once you’ve got all that under your belt, you can dive head-first into director David Lynch’s 2017 masterpiece Twin Peaks: The Return, which takes everything that was great about the original show and kills you with it. If you insist on ending your Sunday nights by feeling nebulously screwed up by a television show, you can’t do better than Twin Peaks.