We Should Turn The Destiny 2 Postmaster into a Gun

Of all of the threats that Guardians have faced in Destiny 2 — vast armies, alien gods, time traveling robots — none can match the malice and cruelty of the game’s true antagonist: the Postmaster. This “feature” collects lost loot, storing it at a mechanical frame named Kadi 55-30 for pick-up in the future. That all sounds fine, but the Postmaster is a menace. And we must deal with it in the only way Guardians know how: by turning it into a neat gun.

What exactly is wrong with the Postmaster? Well, the service has a terribly low capacity, for one thing. Run a few Vanguard Operations or roam in a patrol area for a little while, and before you know it, you’ll see the dreaded warning informing you that the Postmaster is almost out of space. This isn’t helped by the fact that near-useless blue engrams still drop, or by our limited Engram inventory space which means that Prime and Umbral engrams frequently end up at the Postmaster.

If that weren’t enough, Kadi-55 is constantly chattering about Traveler knows what. How many times have you heard her say “Down to The City and up again. Down and up again. Oh, dear.”? Too many to count, I’d bet. Kadi-55 is a threat on multiple fronts, nearly as bad as Tess Everis (but that’s a whole other story).

And what do Guardians do with galaxy-threatening villains? We turn them into goddamn guns — which is exactly what we should do to the Postmaster. What would an Exotic weapon made out of a mail robot look like? I’m not sure, exactly. Maybe it could fire an endless stream of explosive blue engrams. Maybe it could defeat the Witness by throwing up an incredibly annoying warning message in front of him every couple of hours. I’m just saying, we have a system for this kind of thing, and we might as well use it.

In all seriousness, the Postmaster is one of many quality of life issues in Destiny 2 that could use some revision. Maybe Bungie will take a look at it in Lightfall. We could use more storage space, to start, but we could also use the end of blue engrams, a better stacking system for engrams in our inventory, and so on. There are a lot of improvements to be made to what feels like one of Destiny 2‘s most archaic features. To be honest, though, I’d be happy even if they didn’t change anything — as long as we get to make that glorified lost and found clerk into a rocket launcher.