The Noid Returns in Crash Bandicoot Runner Because What

Two 90s mascots run into a bar, both say "Ow."

Do you remember the Noid? The Dominos pizza mascot had an advertising campaign called “Avoid the Noid,” where the rabbit-eared clay-animated old man went out of his way to ruin pizzas. Why? Who the hell knows, but he did it, and he did it voraciously. He even made a video game appearance in a western reskin of the Japanese Famicom title, Kamen no Ninja Hanamaru, where he saved pizzas for some reason. Again, I don’t know, the campaign never made a whole lot of sense, why would Dominos advertise that pizza can be easily ruined in the first place, isn’t that bad?

It ended abruptly when a mentally ill man with the last name of Noid took this campaign as a personal attack, and took a Dominos and its employees hostage. Dominos cancelled the ads and the Noid has been mostly gone in the last 30 years. Except apparently now he’s coming to join Crash Bandicoot in the marsupial’s mobile runner, Crash Bandicoot: On the Run.

“Maybe it was the chaos of 2020 that gave the Noid the confidence to return, or possibly the fact that Domino’s has continued to innovate around great pizza delivery with amazing technology,” says the official press release for the game in a statement that made my eyes roll into the back of my head.

The crossover event is part of a new Dominos ad campaign to bring the Noid back as their mascot, which means that someone in a marketing meeting at Dominos had to stand up and assure people that this time it probably will not end in a hostage situation.

Noid appears as a miniboss in On the Run on May 7, which I think heavily implies that Crash Bandicoot is a pizza, which is information I do not know what to do with.