Companies will go to great lengths to market their products, but this is the first time I’ve heard of someone killing and skinning the stars of their upcoming film to create brand awareness in the form of Xbox controllers donning their fur. But it looks like that’s what Paramount and Sega did ahead of Sonic the Hedgehog 2’s theatrical debut, because these custom Xbox controllers covered in blue and red hair can only have come from one place: Sonic and Knuckles themselves.
The fuzzy controllers are part of an Xbox giveaway, which means these horrifying monstrosities will only be available to a select number of people. The winners will be able to claim these trophies of Sonic and Knuckles’ demise, as well as a custom Xbox Series S console. The box is black, but includes a golden ring and memorial photos of the heroes who died for your fuzzy remotes. Hopefully whoever wins these controllers doesn’t play games with them and puts them on a shelf for display. Because the thought of how filthy these hair controllers could get makes me sick, and it’s not like you can throw a controller into your washing machine. Then the entire thing is a bust because that shit’s not gonna work after. You could maybe take a washrag and shampoo them, but it would probably be best for you to use a controller not adorned in the fur of two beloved video game mascots who died for an Xbox contest.
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Anyway, before they were brutally murdered to make Xbox controllers, Sonic and Knuckles finished shooting the Sonic the Hedgehog 2 movie that’s coming to theaters on April 8, so I hope to see an “in loving memory of Sonic and Knuckles” message at the end. The film’s final trailer came out last week, and it looks like it’s leaning into what worked (and what didn’t) for the first one.