Things Seem Bad in the Newest Doom Eternal Trailer

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The Doom Slayer has been taking a little nap for the last couple of years, and in that time it looks like Earth has become totally boned. The moon went and shattered somehow, there’s big Satanic runes etched into the surface of the planet, and based on the radio chatter at the beginning of this latest Doom Eternal trailer, casualties are in the billions. To quote the Doom Slayer’s famous catchphrase, “Yowie-zowie!”

From all available context, it appears that Earth is being sacrificed to Hell by some new extra-solar/planar civilization. Whether this is a new development, or was secretly the purpose of the original Argent energy experiments on Mars from 2016’s Doom is uncertain. “For millennia we have survived; made others sacrifice in the name of our prosperity,” says a giant floating robot alien lady(?) thing. “Who are you — a human — to defy our traditions?”

The human in question, the Doom Slayer, seems eager and ready to defy a vast multitude of extraterrestrial traditions, as the trailer shows him shooting, punching, crushing, exploding, decapitating, splitting, sniping, gouging, and foiling demons with the same amount of conviction and persistence that we’ve all come to love and respect. But who is this mysterious flying robot lady(?) with her big fancy opinions? Our boy DS has definitely been revived to fight the evils of the pit once again, but none of the voices in the trailer match those of Dr. Samuel Hayden, the robot-bodied super-genius who resurrected him in the last game. So who brought him back this time?

“Against all the evil that Hell can conjure, all the wickedness that mankind can produce, we will send unto them only you,” says a regal voice in the trailer. Perhaps the Doom Slayer is being given the chance to fight for what’s left of humanity as some kind of trial, or bet? Perhaps the Doom Slayer has made a wager for the souls of all mankind?

Striking deals doesn’t really feel like the Doom Slayer’s style, though. He didn’t give a damn about Dr. Hayden’s intentions or the potential benefits of Argent energy to mankind, he just killed demons and broke all of the machines that produced or somehow enabled the use of Hell energy. Why would he have any more respect or reverence for whoever these floating robot people are? And what’s up with the horned dude with the axe? He’s wearing green armor too — is he some kind of Doom Slayer Slayer? Or perhaps, the Doom Slayer of this race of alien cyborgs? Mayhaps it is just a miniboss encounter with no plot significance whatsoever! This, too, is possible.

I’m not really one for extreme violence in games under most circumstances, but I have a weird affection for the absolute catharsis of 2016’s Doom. The Doom Slayer does all manner of unspeakable things in that game, but he does them all to literal demons that are objectively, infallible evil, who have no will or desires of their own other than to perform evil, and who by their very nature are beyond absolute redemption, so, it’s okay! Rip and tear! Doom Eternal arrives on PC, Xbox One, PlayStation 4, and presumably, Google Stadia on March 20.