8BitDo’s Latest Is an Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Micro Switch Controller Thingy

... that you can order for the first time today.

8BitDo is back at it again at the increasingly small and esoteric Krispy Kreme, this time with an absolutely minuscule little candy button of a controller for the Nintendo Switch (as well as PC, macOS, Android, and Raspberry Pi). Available in three baby shower colors, the 8BitDo Zero 2 features four face buttons, a d-pad, start, select, and two shoulder buttons. And that’s it! At $20, what else could you want?

Well, maybe a couple of analogue sticks, but that would defeat the Zero 2’s purpose of being just the smallest, itty-bitty widdle controller you ever did see. 8BitDo says it’s “key chain sized,” and based on the product shot below, it looks like you can actually use it as one. Look closely and you’ll see a charm loop on the underside of the device, ready and waiting to strap this thing to your backpack, or support any number of Hello Kitty charms.

This is honestly great news — I don’t think I’d ever need/want to actually use one of these adorable little things as a real controller, but I am the exact right amount of dumb to spend $20 on a key chain that is also a fully-functional Bluetooth controller. 8BitDo says the Zero 2 will last for eight hours on a single charge of its built-in battery, which fills up through the micro-USB port between the shoulder buttons. With no motion control support, rumble motors, or IR lasers in this thing, that seems completely plausible.

Since there are no analogue sticks on the Zero 2, its compatibility with Nintendo Switch software will vary on a per-game basis. Everything in Nintendo Switch Online’s NES and SNES libraries should work just fine, along with the eShop’s catalogue of retro-inspired indies like Shovel Knight and Kero Blaster. But actual, like, 3D-ass video games probably won’t jive with the Zero 2.

It may not even fully function with the games that 8BitDo shows in its promotional material, which is kinda misleading if you want my personal IMO opinion. The above shot shows us two controllers apparently playing a single-player screen of Tetris 99, which doesn’t make any sense for a number of reasons. First off, c’mon, we know what single-player Tetris looks like. Secondly, Tetris 99 doesn’t technically require analogue sticks, but without them won’t be able to select individual targets with the left stick, or group targets with the right stick, and there’s no way in hell you’re gonna win Tetris 99 like that.

This post’s header also shows the controller in proximity to Super Mario Maker 2, and while you’d for sure be able to play other people’s courses using the Zero 2, you won’t be able to build your own entirely with the controller, since SMM2 uses the left analogue stick to move the finger cursor and make selections from the item wheels. At any rate, for $20 there’s no reason to expect the Zero 2 to do everything, and with it being as precious as it is, it’s also hard to stay mad at it. I just hope 8BitDo will try and be a little bit more authentic with its screenshot usage when it unveils the Zero 3, which I’m assuming will be small enough for use as a suppository.