The Top 5 Games That Share My Initials

A very helpful and important list

Mortal Kombat 11 is out, and that can only mean one thing — people everywhere are talking about it using an acronym that happens to be my initials.

MK is casual.” Only on Fridays! “MK is dividing the fighting game community!” Gosh I hope not! “MK is ruined.” What?

But this all got me thinking, and I realized something — Mortal Kombat may be the most prominent game that shares my initials, but it’s far from the only one. Can you guess all five?

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1. Mortal Kombat

I grew up in a permissive household, where very little media was off-limits when I was a child. As far as I recall, the list included The Simpsons, South Park, Ren and Stimpy, pro wrestling, and Mortal Kombat. But that sure didn’t stop me from playing violent games and watching gross cartoons at a friend’s place.

Back then, the series had an irresistible mystique. It was the most notorious video game in the world, prompting legislative handwringing, parody, and parental concern. But for me, the allure went deeper than the gore. More than any of its contemporaries, Mortal Kombat was full of obscure secrets and riddles that were fodder for endless schoolyard conversations.

MK11 is the first game in the series that I’ve played since, I want to say, the one on the N64? I’m not much of a fighting game aficionado, but I’m having a good time with it so far — even if I have become a little more squeamish in the intervening decades.

2. Mario Kart

It’s Mario Kart, baby! It’s Mario, karts, and babies. That said, I don’t support babies racing, not only for the safety concerns but because I feel attacked as a homosexual.

“A turtle can drive,” Mario Kart says. “Babies can drive. A ghost can reach into this physical plane to a sufficient degree to be able to drive. What’s your excuse?” I have none. I am bereft.

3. Murder Death Kill

Getting in on a technicality, Shiny’s series named for a line in Demolition Man features a janitor with a sniper rifle helmet and a four-armed dog named Bones. Yes, I’ve got a middle initial. What does it stand for? Don’t worry about it!

I have never played MDK or its sequel, MDK2. It’s the kind of game I would read a lot about in my GamePros and Official Dreamcast Magazines, knowing I would probably never touch it simply because I didn’t have the disposable income. Sorry, MDK, but back in the year 2000 I was spending all my money on Prozzäk CDs and Dance Dance Revolution.

4. Kirby: Nightmare in Dreamland

Okay, this one is a bit of a stretch, but bear with me. In 2002, Nintendo remade NES classic Kirby’s Adventure for the Game Boy Advance as Kirby: Nightmare in Dreamland. Kind of an odd shift in tone, but it was the early 2000s, so you couldn’t sell a game about a pink puffball unless you implied there was going to be something fucked up about it.

Anyway, Nightmare in Dreamland is a pretty straightforward remake, but it features a new mode where you get to play as Kirby’s erstwhile enemy, Meta Knight. The name of that mode? Meta Knightmare. It counts.

5. Makai Kingdom

I don’t know what this is. But according to Wikipedia,

The story’s protagonist is a self-proclaimed “Bad-ass Freakin’ Overlord” named Lord Zetta, who attempts to prevent the destruction of his netherworld prophesied by Pram the Oracle. After discovering the Sacred Tome, Zetta finds a passage claiming that his own stupidity would be the downfall of his Netherworld. Infuriated, he burns the book, only to remember immediately afterwards that destroying the book would destroy his world. He quickly responds by confining his soul to the Sacred Tome and ventures to rewrite his world into existence by having the other Overlords of Netherworlds write wishes within his pages.

I did not agree to the use of my likeness or life story in this product and I will be consulting with my attorneys regarding potential legal action.