UPDATE (9/8/22): A prior version of this article referred to Queen Elizabeth II as “alive” and having a “continuing life.” This has been corrected.
Fortnite, as it turns out, is a pretty good game — all they had to do for me to get into it was take out the building. Depending on your perspective, the existence of a game where the alien from Alien can use Goku from Dragon Ball‘s Kamehameha move on the Joker is either very funny of indicative of a deep sickness in human culture at this point in time. Regardless, I have a suggestion today for a new Fortnite skin. I’ve made these kinds of suggestions before, but today’s is a little different. I think that Fortnite should honor the British royal family by putting Her Royal Highness Queen Elizabeth II in the game.
Is it odd to put a head of state in Fortnite? Unconventional, maybe, but it’s not like the game has shied away from using the likenesses of real people before. Alive actor Harrison Ford’s role as Indiana Jones was recently added to the game, and alive athletes like LeBron James have appeared in the game as well. LeBron is sometimes known as King James, so that’s practically already making royalty playable. I’m just saying, it wouldn’t be as big a stretch as you might think.
Admittedly, Queen Elizabeth doesn’t have much direct combat experience, so she might be at something of a disadvantage against characters like the Prince of Saiyans Vegeta (hey, more royalty) or the Mandalorian from Star Wars. But as the matriarch of the British Royal Family, she comes from a long line of leaders of imperial and colonial adventures that enriched England at the expense of various other places around the world. In other words, she’s got a family history of killing other people and taking their loot. That’s Fortnite, baby.
The Queen was 96 years old when she died today and celebrated her Platinum Jubilee earlier this year, commemorating the 70th anniversary of her accession to the throne. What better way to celebrate her life than to put her in Fortnite, where she could reign for eternity over a whole new set of virtual subjects. Epic, do the right thing. Put the Queen in Fortnite.