MMA Fighters as RuPaul’s Drag Race Contestants: A Very Serious Study

How Do Fighters like Israel Adesanya and Paige VanZant stack up to RuPaul’s Drag Race Contestants

RuPaul’s Drag Race is back and the UFC is about to be back and I think you all know what that means.

Actually, you probably don’t, because in a normal situation this wouldn’t mean anything. Then again, as you may have noticed, nothing about the world at large or more specifically about this space is what one would consider a “normal situation.” So, in order to celebrate the fact that everything is weird (including this space) and nothing makes any sense (especially this space), I’ve decided to do the only reasonable thing and combine two ridiculously incompatible concepts to create yet another weird thing that doesn’t make any sense.

I present to you my rigorously researched, highly detailed, intensely scrutinized analysis of 15 MMA fighters and their RuPaul’s Drag Race correspondents.

via GIPHY

Kevin Holland – Vanessa “Vanjie” Matteo (Seasons 10 and 11)

  • Made the most out of a losing debut
  • Talented & *extremely* communicative
  • A bit of an acquired taste, but you’ll get there

Sean O’Malley – Laganja Estranja  (Season 6)

  • Flashy & acrobatic
  • Mostly charismatic, except when they’re feeling VERY ATTACKED
  • Outspoken enthusiasts of the devil’s lettuce

via GIPHY

Dominick Cruz – Sasha Velour (Season 9 winner)

  • Conceptual & cerebral
  • Scholarly and didactic approach to the craft
  • Confounds the competition all the way to the top

Paige VanZant – Joslyn Fox (Season 6)

  • Constantly serving body-ody-ody
  • Warm and constantly upbeat
  • Makes up for technical shortcomings with enthusiasm and a can-do attitude

Brandon Moreno – Adore Delano (Season 6 and All Stars 2)

  • Dangerously underestimated by the competition
  • Youthful charm & charisma
  • Appeals to millennial sensitivities

via GIPHY

Glover Teixeira – Rita Baga (Canada’s Drag Race)

  • Has been around for a while, but can definitely still hang
  • Air of wisdom & discernment that commands respect from the youths
  • Amicable and courteous but with a bit of an edge

Stephen Thompson – Brooke Lynn Hytes (Season 11)

  • Moves with determination, elegance and grace
  • Polite and soft-spoken but will fuck you up
  • Almost won but didn’t

Israel Adesanya – Bob the Drag Queen (Season 8 winner)

  • One major strength, but good at pretty much everything
  • Personally engaging & politically engaged
  • Good at winning and won’t apologize for it

via GIPHY

Robert Whittaker – Trinity The Tuck (Season 9 and All-Stars 4 winner)

  • Wide-reaching skillset
  • Might not always have the crown, but is never too far from the picture
  • Underrated wits & comedic timing

 Gegard Mousasi – Bianca Del Rio (Season 6 winner)

  • Consistently intelligent and hard to beat
  • Very specific sense of humor
  • Kind of grumpy but in a lovable way

Georges St-Pierre – Alyssa Edwards (Season 5 and All-Stars 2)

  • Changed the game
  • Perfect
  • Only disliked by unsophisticated heathens with no taste

via GIPHY

Joseph Benavidez – Manila Luzon (Season 3, All-Stars 1 and All-Stars 4)

  • Should have won a damn title at this point
  • Versatile & always well-prepared
  • Fashionable, but mostly it’s the title thing

Jessica Andrade – Peppermint (Season 9)

  • Affable & generally beloved by fans and peers alike
  • Accused of being one-note, but constantly pulls it off
  • Sneaky assassin

Valentina Shevchenko – Courtney Act (Season 6)

  • So perfect it’s kind of annoying
  • Unfazed, unbothered & unimpressed
  • Possibly (probably?) not human

via GIPHY

Bibiano Fernandes – Jujubee (Season 2, All-Stars 1 and All-Stars 5)

  • Compact but scrappy
  • Conversational & approachable
  • Low-key the real MVP
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