I can’t stop thinking about I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson. It’s the funniest sketch series I’ve seen in years, and with only six episodes eighteen minutes long each, I’ve watched the entire thing multiple times now. But it’s not enough. I need to exorcise this thing or pretty soon I won’t be capable of much more than appreciating motorcycles and taking Instagram pictures with inappropriate captions. And because I work at a video game website, I’m going to do that the only way I can: imagining what it would be like if some of the show’s sketches were adapted for Nintendos.
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1. Turbo Team
In the tradition of asymmetrical multiplayer games like Splinter Cell‘s Spies vs Mercs, Turbo Team sees a pair of exterminators go up against a solo homeowner in a battle for domestic dominance. The exterminators must wreak all manner of havoc on their enemy by playing pranks, jumping up and down on their couch, and attempting to replace their toilet with a joke toilet for farts only. The homeowner mostly just has to tolerate this, but if they manage to call a lawyer to deal with the situation, they get to replace one of the Turbo Team in the next round.
2. Night of Bones
The player takes on the role of an unnamed cowboy in a Western setting using the engine and assets of Red Dead Redemption 2. They come to know the small town, including memorable characters like the preacher’s daughter and the hero’s beloved Marie. But two hours into the game, a stranger named Robert Palins rides into town and shoots the protagonist dead.
Or… does he? Because it turns out that this is also the night that the skeletons came to life. Sloughing off his skin and rising to join his bony comrades, our hero is now tasked with exacting his revenge. Using stealth mechanics in a series of Assassin’s Creed-like scenarios, the player must catch their targets off guard and complete a mini-game in which they pull the victim’s hair up, but not out. Success means our hero is that much closer to another chance at life and vengeance. Failure means turning into bones.
By publisher demand, while playing the game the player will have to contend with a complex economy composed of multiple premium currencies including bones and worms.
Nobody’s quite sure what it is that Chunky does on Dan Vega’s Mega Money Quiz, but you’d better figure out quick. Because in Chunky! you take on the role of the titular mascot in VR. When a contestant hits a Chunky square on the Mega Money Board, it’s your time to shine. Eat the offending contestant’s points as you flail around wildly, ruin their shirts, and destroy their possessions.
But Chunky! is more than your run of the mill VR physics sim. It’s also a deep social simulator that tracks your relationship with Dan Vega over the course of the game, as he reacts in real time to your antics and remembers your deeds. Will you try your best to make the show work by figuring out what your “thing” is? Or will you slowly erode Dan Vega’s resolve, eventually leaving him a broken shell of a man? The choice is literally in your red, fuzzy hands.
4. The Night Before Christmas 2: The Skeleton War
Scrooge has been visited by three ghosts and learned the true meaning of Christmas. But now he’s visited by yet another specter, who has some bad news for him: in the year 3050, Skeletrex and his Bone Brigade have enslaved the human race. Only Scrooge can save humanity from being drafted into service in the bone lord’s Skeleton War.
The Skeleton War is a third-person action title in the vein of the Soulsborne games with the open-world feel of Breath of the Wild. Scrooge arrives in the year 3050 far too weak to take on the giant Skeletrex and his lava club, so must build his power before taking on his foe. Defeating Bonies across the war torn landscape rewards Ebenezer with a viscous green goop which he can eat to increase his sense of humour. As Scrooge’s Christmas Cheer grows, he gains access to more devastating spells, cane combos, and Ghost summons. Plus, let’s say that when he fills up his Goodwill Towards Man gauge, he can turn into a giant demon turkey.