WWE Stomping Grounds Card Preview and Predictions

Pwease no steppy

It’s summer! What better way to celebrate than with WWE’s beloved Pay Per View… uh… Stomping Grounds. The card features nine matches, with every main roster title on the line except the Women’s and Raw Tag Team Championships, and three whole fresh match-ups! What can you expect from Stompy Grounds in Tacoma Washington on Sunday June 23 on the WWE Network? This card guide will tell you!

Cruiserweight Championship: Akira Tozawa vs Tony Nese (Champ) vs Drew Gulak

Former Cruiserweight Champion Akira Tozawa and best performer in WWE Drew Gulak won their shot at Tony Nese’s championship on last week’s 205 Live when they pinned each other at the end of a fantastic main event. Gulak has forgone his old ideals of a “Better 205 Live” and is now tweeting a lot of angry Livejournal teen stuff. You love to see it! If the Tacoma crowd at Stomp Grounds does their job in giving these three a chance, this match should be a barn burner.

Best Possible Outcome: Drew Gulak has held down the foundation of the Cruiserweight Division almost since the very beginning. While this isn’t the most interesting his character has ever been, I’d love to see what they do with Gulak as champion.

Actual Prediction: I really think it’s Gulak’s time.

Xavier Woods & Big E vs Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn

Now that Big E is back in action, it makes sense that he would want to get revenge on the man who tried to replace him only to turn on Kofi Kingston. Other than that, though, we’ve got, uh, Sami Zayn, who hates the fans, and Xavier Woods, who loves the fans. I would rather have seen this as a singles match between E and Owens, but Oh Well.

Best Possible Outcome: Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn win, leading to a killer Kevin Owens vs Big E singles match on Smackdown.

Actual Prediction: The New Day win.

Roman Reigns vs Drew McIntyre

This Wrestlemania rematch is also a Raw rematch. Why? Well, see, at That Event We Don’t Talk About, Shane McMahon beat Roman Reigns with Drew McIntyre’s help. So now they are wrestling again at Stompy Grounds. Even though they are on different shows. We can expect all kinds of shenanigans in this match, which will be the only thing to save it from feeling painfully repetitive. It might still feel painfully repetitive though.

Best Possible Outcome: This match is so filled with shenanigans that it ends up becoming a 24/7 Championship thing and we forget all about these two (admittedly very handsome) wet men.

Actual Prediction:  I see Drew McIntyre winning, unless Roman Reigns is able to find an ally to come have his back. (The Miz maybe?)

Smackdown Tag Team Championship: Daniel Bryan & Rowan (Champs) vs Heavy Machinery

The Beardy Boys/the Planets Champions and Heavy Machinery are pretty much the entire Smackdown Live Tag Team Division. So they’re having a title match. Daniel Bryan is vegan. Heavy Machinery eat meat. Daniel Bryan loves the environment. Heavy Machinery love air pollution, I guess. Daniel Bryan wears short skirts. Heavy Machinery wear t shirts. You get it. They’re different. Stompy Steppy is taking place in Tacoma, Washington, a mere stone’s throw away from Bryan’s hometown of Aberdeen. I genuinely thought Rowan was also from the Pacific Northwest, and he actually isn’t. Still, his energy is very PNW. So they will both definitely be empowered by all the trees and legal weed and stuff in Tacoma. Still…

Best Possible Outcome: An Olympia witch friend of Bryan and Rowan’s comes out and hexes Heavy Machinery as a tie-in with A24’s upcoming prestige horror movie Midsommar. The beardy boys retain.

Prediction: Heavy Machinery win. There are no witches.

United States Championship: Samoa Joe (Champ) vs Ricochet

*Paul Rudd voice* Now Samoa Joe vs Ricochet for the United States Championship I can get into! While I’ve been proven wrong over and over again by the quick, unsatisfying finishes of multiple Samoa Joe/Rey Mysterio matches, I refuse to give up hope! Samoa Joe is one of the greatest of all time and I want to see him have the fabulous match with Ricochet that I know he can have! Will WWE finally allow Joe to put on the kind of banger we all know he can have? Since you know, it’s Stompy Gwounds and not Summerslam or something. This is one of the few fresh matches on the card!

Best Possible Outcome: I don’t care what happens as long as the match is good and lasts at least 10 minutes. Please! Please!! 1 RT of this article = 1 prayer that this match rules.

Prediction: Ricochet wins.

Universal Championship: Seth Rollins (Champ) vs Baron Corbin w/ Special Guest Referee TBD

Another rematch from that other show this month. God. I’m so tired. Aren’t you tired? Baron Corbin is very funny to me because he’s funny to look at and has a Friday the 13th Minions tattoo. This is valid. I still don’t really want to watch him wrestle. I don’t see why he’s a main event contender. Corbin has auditioned and spoken to a few different potential people about reffing this Stompy Gwounds match, but Seth Rollins beat them all up with chairs. Brock Lesnar is still looming on the distant horizon with his Money in the Bank briefcase, so maybe he will show up for this. Maybe he will be the ref. Who knows? Who even cares anymore, honestly?

Best Possible Outcome: God, I don’t know. It’s short. Seth Rollins wins. There are chairs. Someone sends me a present.

Prediction: Nothing matters. Seth Rollins retains or he doesn’t. Being alive is meaningless.

Smackdown Women’s Championship: Bayley (Champ) vs Alexa Bliss (w/ Nikki Cross)

Alexa Bliss may be on Raw, but that isn’t stopping her from challenging Bayley for the Smackdown title. Bliss and Bayley had a perfectly serviceable feud back in 2017 (at least in-ring, the promos were another story) and we can expect to see a lot of the same things here. Bayley will be our favorite fiery babyface with a side ponytail and Alexa Bliss will be underhanded, shrieking and cowardly. Nikki Cross being in Bliss’ corner will bring a nice element of chaos to make this more unpredictable.

Best Possible Outcome: They change the stipulation so that somehow Nikki Cross gets the pin and wins.

Prediction: Alexa Bliss wins.

Raw Women’s Championship: Becky Lynch (Champ) vs Lacey Evans

Becky Lynch tapped out Lacey Evans fair and square in the middle of the ring at Money in the Bank last month, so Lacey Evans is getting another title opportunity at Steppy Gwounds. I enjoyed that match in spite of myself, but there’s really nothing to get me excited about this rematch. With a talent pool as deep as WWE has, I don’t know why they’re doing this. Hopefully they will do another match as entertaining as the last one, I guess.

Best Possible Outcome: After a fun match, Becky Lynch retains and goes on to have some solid title defenses on Raw against people who aren’t Lacey Evans, like they’ve been doing with Seth Rollins and Kofi Kingston!

Prediction: Lacey Evans wins.

WWE Championship Cage Match: Kofi Kingston (Champ) vs Dolph Ziggler

What’s special about Dolph Ziggler challenging Kofi Kingston for the WWE Championship at Pwease No Steppy is that it’s not just a rehash of a match they had at the Forbidden PPV We Don’t Talk About, it’s a rehash of a rivalry they had in 2010. Still, that was a pretty good rivalry! And since I didn’t watch That Thing From Earlier This Month, I’m excited to see this one.

Best Possible Outcome: Kofi Kingston and Dolph Ziggler tear it up and remind us that a WWE cage match can be cool and good. Kingston retains.

Prediction: Kingston retains.