Hulk Hogan's 68th birthday is today, meaning that the man has been around long enough to properly quantify his worth on a 10 point scale. Did he fundamentally change professional wrestling for the worse? Yes. Did his right wing billionaire funded lawsuit against Gawker undermine the free press? Possibly. Was he temporarily thrown out of an imaginary wrestling hall of fame for making racist comments in a leaked sex tape? You bet. But 68 years is a long time to be alive, so there has to be something about his life that justifies how much Hulk Hogan knowledge, how much deep Hulk Hogan lore is smashed into my brain.
Updated on JULY 22, 2022
- His "jabronie marks" tweet is incredible.
- Once claimed that Lars Ulrich invited him to audition for Metallica as a bass player despite not actually being an active musician around the time Metallica formed, prompting Lars Ulrich to say "I don't know Hulk Hogan." Hogan had absolutely no reason to lie, being in Metallica would not make him look cool, but his propensity for outrageous fabrication is frankly the best thing about him.
- Former Hüsker Dü frontman Bob Mould was impressed by his sense of timing.
- Was in a movie with Grace Jones. Even if nobody saw it, you cannot deny him that.
- Believed so hard in getting the Dungeon of Doom angle over that he had his mustache shaved for it. That or he needed the thing gone for a movie, who knows.
- Makes motorcycles seem less cool by association.
- Pastamania, brother.
- Really sold Jay Leno's wristlock.
- Love it when people who will eventually die get words like "immortal" tattooed on them.
- One of those guys whose interviews makes other wrestlers go "oh no, we weren't on coke, just a lot of caffeine" whenever they're asked if there was a ton of cocaine in the locker room.
- Has been fun to clown on since before I was born.
- He misspelled "jabroni."
- Have you ever spoken to someone who thinks that Hulk Hogan was secretly a great wrestler because he did drop toeholds in Japan?
- Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake.
- Probably wasn't lying when he said that if Donald Trump was drowning in the ocean, he'd paddle him to safety.
- Was the engine that drove Vince McMahon's monopolization of the wrestling industry, simultaneously codifying a lot of wrestling tropes
- Allegedly ratted Jesse "The Body" Ventura out for talking about unionizing the industry because he was making more money than the rest of the roster combined.
- The list of people he wouldn't put over despite the obvious advantages of doing so is long and sad.
- I mean ... he's Hulk Hogan.
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