Hulk Hogan

A man with skin the color and texture of a wizened orange, with hair as blond and wispy as corn floss.

Hulk Hogan's 68th birthday is today, meaning that the man has been around long enough to properly quantify his worth on a 10 point scale. Did he fundamentally change professional wrestling for the worse? Yes. Did his right wing billionaire funded lawsuit against Gawker undermine the free press? Possibly. Was he temporarily thrown out of an imaginary wrestling hall of fame for making racist comments in a leaked sex tape? You bet. But 68 years is a long time to be alive, so there has to be something about his life that justifies how much Hulk Hogan knowledge, how much deep Hulk Hogan lore is smashed into my brain.