We took a break for the holiday, but we’re back baby! It’s been a good week here at Fanfyte. We signed up for a newly available Japanese streaming service that lets us watch a ton more cool wrestling, we celebrated Tomohiro Ishii, and talked about Batista’s dick.
Fan girl won tickets via Bandido and hid a sign she was carrying. JCR asked to see the sign. The sign was for Soberano Jr. Bandido was sad. ???? pic.twitter.com/PV3thf9Rtm
— Fredo Esparza (@therealfredo) December 5, 2019
Colette Arrand: The Fan Who Put a Dagger in Bandido’s Heart
Bandido is a hunk par excellence, and though I love and respect hunks as a vital aspect of the ecosystem that is professional wrestling, I also live to see hunks brought low by circumstances their visage holds no sway over. Bandido choosing a fan from the crowd to give her tickets, only to find out that the fan was there for Soberano Jr.? PEAK hunk brought low, delicious enough that it gets the nod over KUSHIDA’s return video making me cry.
More from Colette:
- Wednesday Night War Week 10: Cults, Cults, and More Cults
- An Oral History of Dave “The Animal” Batista’s Dick
- What the Hell is Happening in Ring of Honor? (Part 2)
Mer: Little Greggy is Big Mad
We love angry boys! Heavyweight Trent has been on a roll in AEW lately, with a surprising singles win over Penta Jr and a recent tag victory over the Lucha Bros. This week he faced Rey Fenix, with best friend Chuck Taylor and cool uncle figure Orange Cassidy in his corner. The match was fantastic, with Fenix ultimately winning, but I popped bigger for what happened after. Since his mother raised a very polite and kind boy, Trent offered Fenix a handshake post match. He refused and Trent snapped, attacking Fenix and taking a stand for having manners. Chuck had to pull him off, while Cassidy offered silent moral support. The appeal of Best Friends lies in the fact that they’re both the funniest men alive, but also able to switch on a dime and play a serious story. Trent has always been a little hot headed, but seeing him extra aggressive and knocking down people who disrespect him? Incredible. The self journey he deserves. Claim your space, king.
More from Mer:
- WWE Recap: SmackDown Brings Reunions, Raw Brings Back a Brat
- WWE Survivor Series Recap and Review
- WWE Hell In a Cell Recap and Review
Hunktears: MENSA Geniuses Only!
[Yes technically this happened December 6, but I didn’t sleep between December 5 and watching it, so I’m counting it as just really late on December 5. Time is fake!]
I haven’t been keeping up with every single New Japan World Tag League show, but when I saw Zack Sabre Jr & Taichi would be taking on the surprisingly dominant team of Colt Cabana and Toru Yano, something as silly as “my sleep schedule” had to take a backseat to these four brilliant kings.
From Zack Sabre Jr sneering “I love this song” to the camera while Taichi serenaded the audience with “Pageant” to Colt Cabana and Toru Yano’s distinct vaudeville energy throughout to the perfect finish, this match was a romp. It had everything I like: Yano, shenanigans, tag team brilliance, Miho Abe, a Zack Sabre Jr temper tantrum, comedy Taichi, and tons of slapstick. It’s my favorite thing I’ve seen from the tournament so far!
Also, watching Miho Abe, Taichi and Zack Sabre Jr interact, I realized that all of the coolest polyamorous people I know are basically just in heel factions. That’s beautiful to me.
More from Hunktears:
- 2019 In Wrestling: Orange Cassidy is Wrestler of the Year
- Pokemon Sword and Shield’s Morgrem Is Literally Danzig
- Was Jim Cornette, Self-Professed Enemy of “Cosplay Rasslers,” Cosplaying in Plain Sight for Over a Decade?
Danielle’s Big Fyte: Weekend Picks
After a brief lapse in action from weekly cards, UFC on ESPN is a go tomorrow evening. I’m intrigued by most of the main card: in the main event, the often counted-out but still going heavyweight Alastair Overeem faces off against Jairzinho Rozenstruik. Overeem is 39, he’s had some huge ups and brutal downs, but the dude just keeps going. He recently told Bloody Elbow that his career isn’t complete until he sees UFC gold.
I’m not sure that’s the smartest attitude in this brutal, bloody sport, but you can’t fault him for trying.
In the co-main, strawweight women Marina Rodriguez and Cynthia Calvillo have a scrap to determine the next contenders to the throne. Rodriguez is currently 9th in the division, while Calvillo (who did miss weight, so she’ll give up a 30% of her purse) is sitting at 10.
Elsewhere, at women’s bantamweight, up and comer Aspen Ladd is seeking to course correct after her quick knockout loss to Germaine de Randemie from July in a fight with longtime contender Yana Kunitskaya.
But the match I’m most excited about this weekend isn’t in the UFC. It’s a wild, mixed-rules match at Third Coast Grappling, between “the king” Gordon Ryan and supernaturally talented wrestler Bo Nickal. The wrestling game certainly favors Nickal, but Gordon Ryan is the ADCC superstar who truly excels at submitting his opponents. The rules are interesting: Ryan has agreed to no leg locks (he is known as a leglock specialist, but really, he submits people from just about everywhere), and he has also agreed not to pull guard.
I’m a fan of these fun, nontraditional matchups, especially as submission grappling has grown and frankly, the game has started to take wrestling more seriously in the last few years. Ryan almost certainly has some serious advantages here, but you probably shouldn’t completely count out one of the best wrestlers currently competing. Nickal had a 97%+ winning record in college, and he’s getting ready for the Olympic trials.
Also, well, I’m competing tomorrow, in my first submission-only tournament as a blue belt. Wish me luck! Or, er, good hunting. Yeah, that’s the one.