Mario Lopez in Recipe for Seduction

A Lifetime Original “Mini Movie,” starring one Mario Lopez as the iconic Kentucky Fried Chicken Mascot, Col. Sanders/”The Colonel.”

Fast Food conglomerate Kentucky Fried Chicken is sponsoring what I can only begin to describe as a semi-satirical, semi-commercial “mini-movie” starring one Mario Lopez as a very, very sexy version of KFC mascot “Colonel Sanders.” No, it’s not the bizarro universe we wanted, it may not even be the one we deserve, but here we are, and Mario Lopez, always a snack, is looking even… more the snack in the wild-ass preview for this thing, which will premiere next week, on December 13th.

Let’s see… he has the outfit (albeit in a short sleeve, form-fitting, bicep-complimenting fashion). He has the grays. And he has… oh my, he has the stache.' The tiny goatee. The fake-as-shit little glasses. 

I don’t know how big Mr. Lopez’ paycheck was for this. I also can’t shake the sense that he smells vaguely of fried food, even though he looks (very much on purpose) like a man who smells delicious in other ways.