John Warren

(he/him)

I miss Texas sometimes. Wheelchair person. Professional wrestling is humanity's greatest achievement. He/his, y'all.

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John Warren Mar 6, 2019. 4 minute read

Conservation, Control, & Trans Rights: An Extra Credits/Fanbyte Collaboration

This piece is in collaboration with the folks at Extra Credits! Check out their good good YouTube channel and surrounding content. They provided the video and the prompt about Tim Sweeney. Thanks! The games industry has never had a longer reach than it does now, both in its audience and…

FEATURES

John Warren Feb 28, 2019. 3 minute read

Fanbyte’s Best of February 2019

February…the shortest month but the greatest month??? I don’t know. For us, it was pretty great! We had Kiss Week, a five-day celebration of smooches which was so nice we think we’ll do it again next year! We also had some amazing content from our team of extraordinarily talented writers.…

FEATURES

John Warren Feb 26, 2019. 3 minute read

5 Possible Reasons Batista Attacked Ric Flair on Raw

Last night, on the three-hour sweat-nightmare called WWE Raw, Drax the Destroyer himself (a.k.a. Dave Bautista, a.k.a. Batista) showed up to the 70th birthday of WWE legend Ric Flair. But he wasn’t there to wish his former ally well. Instead, Batista proceeded to beat the limo rides out of the septuagenarian…

LISTS

John Warren Feb 26, 2019. 4 minute read

Apex Legends Characters as Vanderpump Rules Stars

Vanderpump Rules is a Bravo reality show about a bunch of beautiful people pushing 35 working in a gaudy West Hollywood restaurant named Sur owned and operated by the ever-dressed-in-pink, dog-obsessed Lisa Vanderpump. Apex Legends is a battle royale video game about a bunch of weird people fighting in a sprawling battlefield…

LISTS

John Warren Feb 18, 2019. 2 minute read

Kiss Week by Fanbyte 2019

Kiss Week! A celebration of smooches. What a week it was! We had a blast bringing you the finest content in the world of kisses. We’ve gathered all the fantastic pieces in one place for you! Smooch you next year! Super Smooch Bros Ranking the Super Smash Bros by power is…

FEATURES

John Warren Feb 15, 2019. 1 minute read

A Glance At Real Marriage Proposals in Video Games

Ah, the marriage proposal. The bigger you go, the more you’re putting your partner is a really, really uncomfortable situation! Fortunately for three of the stories video producer Frank has served us, that wasn’t the case! The less said about the Spider-Man incident, the better. Anyway! Frank’s video shows us the…

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John Warren Feb 15, 2019. Less than a minute

Game Swap: Anthem as Space Harrier

Hey Freelancers! Anthem has arrived to fly your butt all over its lush world. While the game is a visual juggernaut, we asked ourselves what the game would be like if it had been made in the style of Space Harrier. Then we had an amazing artist make it! Then Ryan spent…

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John Warren Feb 14, 2019. 4 minute read

A Definitive Ranking of All Seven Copies I’ve Owned of Final Fantasy IX

At yesterday’s Nintendo Direct, it was announced that Final Fantasy IX (the best one) would be available immediately on the Nintendo eShop. This is tremendous news. Yesterday marked the seventh time I have exchanged United States legal tender for a copy of this delicious product featuring my friends Vivi Ornitier…

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John Warren Feb 7, 2019. 1 minute read

Disney Characters Who Definitely Won’t Appear In Kingdom Hearts

Disney has had a long, long history. It’s IP catalog is a mile thick and Square Enix could pull from basically anywhere in the Disney canon for new Kingdom Hearts planets and characters. Frank, our video producer, took it upon himself to review a list of characters and universes that probably…

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John Warren Feb 5, 2019. 1 minute read

Air-dash Yourself Over Here to See Celeste in Glorious LEGO Form

Celeste was one of my favorite games of 2018, full stop. The art, the kinetic gameplay, the satisfying death loop, the writing–it’s all great. The soundtrack is unreasonably great. It’s the total package of indie releases in 2018. Can’t stress this enough. Our video producer Ben spent a good chunk…

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John Warren Feb 3, 2019. 3 minute read

5 Sports From Games That Should’ve Been Huge

Today, the Los Angeles Rams are getting set to annihilate the terrible Tom Bradys and send them off into a blood red sunset of their own making. At halftime, you could watch a bad concert or a hastily pieced-together wrestling showdown, or you could fire up one of these games featuring a…

LISTS

John Warren Jan 31, 2019. 2 minute read

Fanbyte’s Best of January 2019

I keep writing 20HELL on all my checks, amirite??? Anyway, January’s end is upon us and your friendly neighborhood Fanbyte is looking back at the pieces we’re most proud of from the month. Lists Lists, they’re just so numerical and gosh darn easy to digest, you know? Here are some…

FEATURES

John Warren Jan 28, 2019. 1 minute read

The Most Interesting Virtual Items Ever Sold

I’ve spent more money than I care to share on Clash Royale boosts. I’ve bought a bunch of Fortnite Battle Passes. For these folks, virtual items have no ceiling on price. Video producer Frank takes us through some of the most bonkers virtual items ever sold in a game. The items sold…