Jordan Mallory

Jordan Mallory Jan 21, 2020. 2 minute read

Next Life-Size Gundam to Put the ‘Mobile’ in Mobile Suit This October

Throughout the 40 years of its existence, Mobile Suit Gundam has always revolved around a singular message: “War is bad, actually.” Despite this, everyone on Earth wants Gundam to be real. So what’s a civilization to do? We can’t have real mecha running around, obviously — our leaders would kill…

Jordan Mallory Jan 20, 2020. 2 minute read

Dying Light 2 Delayed, New Release Date Indeterminate

Techland’s Dying Light 2 will miss its originally scheduled launch window of “Spring 2020,” the developer announced today via Twitter. The new release date is a long string of question marks, proceeding as far into the distance as can be seen, cresting over the horizon as a beautiful sunset paints…

Jordan Mallory Jan 17, 2020. 2 minute read

You’ll Never Guess Who the Next Dragon Ball FighterZ DLC Character Is

There’s a new DLC fighter coming to Arc System Works’ exceptional Dragon Ball FighterZ, and you better hold on to your entire butthole because there’s no way in Hell you’ll ever be able to guess who it is! Go ahead and try, I dare you! It’s not Kami! It’s not…

Jordan Mallory Jan 15, 2020. 2 minute read

ThinkGeek Is Making a Bluetooth Jigglypuff Speaker

If this were the best of all possible universes, Jigglypuff would be real. It’s not, obviously, for thousands of brand new reasons each day, but that won’t stop humanity from trying to emulate what that reality might be like. ThinkGeek, now a fully-integrated subsidy of Gamestop, has filed a Bluetooth-enabled…

Jordan Mallory Jan 14, 2020. 2 minute read

That Avengers Game Got Delayed Too, by the Way

We’re all familiar with that Avengers game, yes? The one announced back in 2017, that Crystal Dynamics is developing? The one that’s like Destiny kinda and was supposed to come out on May 15 of this year? Well, that last part is different now. Now it comes out on September…

Jordan Mallory Jan 14, 2020. 2 minute read

Things Seem Bad in the Newest Doom Eternal Trailer

The Doom Slayer has been taking a little nap for the last couple of years, and in that time it looks like Earth has become totally boned. The moon went and shattered somehow, there’s big Satanic runes etched into the surface of the planet, and based on the radio chatter…

Jordan Mallory Jan 13, 2020. 2 minute read

Sony to Skip E3 Again on This, the Year of the PlayStation 5’s Debut

As was the case last year, Sony has decided to skip E3 2020 in favor of doing it’s own thang in the lead up to this holiday season’s scheduled launch of the PlayStation 5. This is the second time that Sony has skipped an E3, but the first time that…

Jordan Mallory Jan 12, 2020. 3 minute read

Legends of Runeterra, the LoL Card Game, Enters Open Beta Jan. 24

Riot’s forthcoming League of Legends collectible card game, Legends of Runeterra, will open its digital doors to the general public on Friday, January 24, when it officially enters open beta on PC. While this won’t be the full-on launch of the game, it is the first time that Riot has…

Jordan Mallory Jan 9, 2020. 2 minute read

Quiz Your Friends With These 2019 Playstation Store Download Stats

Sony has released some statistics for what y’all downloaded the most from the PlayStation Store last year, and you might be surprised to learn that Fortnite was not the most-downloaded free-to-play game on the PlayStation 4 in 2019. You’ll have to wait to find out what was though, because first…

Jordan Mallory Jan 8, 2020. 2 minute read

Mildly Helpful Changes Coming to How Steam Handles Soundtracks

In keeping with years-long tradition, Valve today finally got around to implementing the bare minimum amount of expected functionality for one of its flagship platform’s services. From now on (sorta, I’ll get to that in a second), soundtracks on Steam may no longer be classified as DLC for their respective…

Jordan Mallory Jan 7, 2020. 2 minute read

‘Tiny Living’ Stuff Pack Brings the Tiny House Lifestyle to Sims 4

For as many things as Sims 4 is good at simulating, it’s continually come up short in two very important categories: minimalist lifestyles, and facial hair on women. We’ll have to keep waiting for the latter, but anyone who’s been jonesing to experience the tiny house life for themselves, such…

Jordan Mallory Jan 6, 2020. Less than a minute

The Playstation 5 Logo: A Review

Jordan Mallory Jan 6, 2020. 2 minute read

Origin’s ‘Big O’ Is a Gaming PC With a Console Crammed Inside

Origin’s new “Big O” gaming PC isn’t a building-sized art deco mecha, and it’s not piloted by a man who fulfills a much needed job, here in the City of Amnesia. There’s no charming android sidekick involved either, and if you want a butler with an eye patch, you’ll have…

Jordan Mallory Jan 3, 2020. 2 minute read

100 Free Xbox Live Gamertag Username Ideas

Whether you’ve just acquired your very first Xbox, or you’ve been with the brand since MechAssault, everyone that sets foot into Microsoft’s X-based ecosystem will have to come up with an Xbox Live Gamertag eventually. Maybe you’re just starting out with an Xbox Games Pass subscription on PC, or maybe…

Jordan Mallory Jan 2, 2020. 2 minute read

Hatsune Miku, Kyary Pamyu Pamyu to Perform at Coachella 2020, Bring World Peace

Hatsune Miku and Kyary Pamyu Pamyu, arguably the two most important, influential Japanese pop stars of the last decade, will both perform at this year’s Coachella festival this April, held at its traditional ceremonial grounds out the middle of a desert in California somewhere. For the uninitiated, it’s worth mentioning…

Jordan Mallory Jan 2, 2020. 2 minute read

Fan-Made Mother 3 Sequel Is Now Its Own Thing Called Oddity

For the last 10 years, a group of developers have been working on their own, unofficial sequel to Mother 3, the final game in a series that us westerners refer to as Earthbound. The group originally announced that its game, then called Mother 4, would be available in the winter…

Jordan Mallory Dec 31, 2019. Less than a minute

Fireworks: A Review

Jordan Mallory Dec 31, 2019. 15 minute read

Jordo’s UNAUTHORIZED 2019 Game of the Year MEGAPOST

Over the past couple weeks, some people at this website have spent hours upon hours debating the very best games of not only this year, but the last 10 years as well. You’ve probably been enjoying the bountiful fruits of their labor, and in doing so, have also noticed that…

Jordan Mallory Dec 30, 2019. 2 minute read

Honkai Impact 3rd Is on PC Now, If You’re Into That

Honkai Impact 3rd, which is a mobile gacha game that can be (somewhat unfairly) summed up as “Simplified Bayonetta but With an Incomprehensible High-Anime Plot™,” is now officially available on Windows 10. Previously, players that wanted to play the game on PC had to download the game’s APK and run…

Jordan Mallory Dec 27, 2019. 2 minute read

Sony Patent Points to New Dual Shock With Rear Triggers

Remember last week, when Sony announced a weird new Dual Shock 4 attachment that added two additional triggers to the rear of the device? We speculated at the time that Sony might be attempting to future-proof the DS4 ahead of its next generation controller, which might include rear triggers by…